Two-Step

By Warren Ellis

London 2001, at a theater showing a Bollywood film, a party in the street happens with a young guy playing electric guitar from a balcony. 1 guy is reading a book on zen flight from a roof, he q'ing why he'd believe a book only from belief as Rosi Blades is egocentrically strutting down the street introing herself to the general area, quite antagonistic toward the street-bollywood scene being over, and she exhausting London of it's cool shit.

As she sits on a stoop, she's bowled over by 1 guy running from the sen flying book guy, she recognizing the non-boring content. Dreadlock guy shouts of being with the Quarry gang, but this not bothering Zen Flying book guy, he making the guy fly face first into a metal ladder, but revenge taken on Zen Flying book guy's goolies with his guitar case, dreadlock guy running off. Rosi asks for his name and he states of being a zen gunmen, he entering a raunchy club. Dreadlock guy hides behind a girl as Tony points his gun at him, Dreadlock having stolen something, the chase continuing outside.

Tony shoots 2 cords at Dreadlock's knees, and when Tony declares they're alone, Dreadlock's nearly shoots him, before Rosi stamps on him, sacrificing the hits she'd have gotten for watching it happen. Rosi asks what he'd stolen, Tony clarifying he was doing the stealing, but showing her the massive donger in the guitar-looking case. Tony invites her to press a button on it, but she leaves this honor to him, it playing Ride of the Valkyries. Before parting ways, Rosi asks why he doesn't join a gang rather than being a free agent, he stating it is zen-related, waiting to see the unique shit hit you, the 2 then walking away in opposite directions, each looking back when the other isn't.

A week later, Tony's watching 2 robots fighting or fucking as he reads aloud of a man surviving a fall in a rapids and how he'd accommodated and allowed the water to shape him. Tony considers whether this technique would hold up against bullets, he walking and reading as Rosi's at a fair of Renaissance, becoming annoyed again by nothing good happening. Then, she and Tony collide, she relating her issue, and he dismissing it, then like magic, he's spotted by Quarry gang, and shooting begins. Tony leads her off until she asks for a gun, so she can help defend them, and when she shoots a fella in his nethers, a huge explosion erupts caused by his fake cock.

Tony runs off with Rosi in tow, since they are on ice over the Thames. When they reach land, Rosi drives her scooter, but the gang is soon seen coming, so Tony urges her to turn around at them. She thinks he's crazy, but does it for views as he starts shooting, the dick-shaped mobile exploding. Rosi directs them back toward her place, so she could change, and he could be more camo.

Meanwhile, Reg is pissed about his stolen tallywacker, deciding dirty Ron'd handle this. Reg's underling warns of what occured before when Ron was sent out, Reg disregarding this for the principle of his todger. Reg goes up to Ron's room, he having been linked in to a device which let him fuck Kylie Minogue as a car, of which he feels are more friendly towards him. Reg offers his son the new task of screwing someone to death.

Rosi's driving through Chinatown when a bunch of agents begin shooting at 2 ladies in full motorcycle gear standing straddled on their bikes. Meanwhile, Ron is being dropped off when he's distracted by a sexy mini cooper and makes it squeal, with his penis, so his handler calls up Ron who instructs they take the target down, so they start shooting. Rosi's tire pops from a shot, the 2 falling and skidding under the thrusting Ron. The big fella stops and intros himself, declaring he shags stuff til they go boom, Rosi stating Tony is who he was staring at during this speech.

1 of Reg's men explains Ron probably is only seeing cars, due to his implant. They're both escorted down to where Reg is waiting, he readying to kill them, and siccing Ron to do his dirty Rosi offers hacking into his implant, and makes him see them as humans, whilst Reg, and his lackey are now seen as cars, of which he wants to bang. Tony pulls Rosi out at a run as Reg's back up come in, Reg squealing they use the big gun. Rosi and Tony reach a pile of cars, they using a scooter, and bowling people over as they crash through the window.

They're way high up as Reg starts screaming for whatever gun fool had found. Rosi and Tony are nearly at the bottom of the building for somehow driving down the windows, they heading to the docks. The 2 have a smooch and since they'd gotten away, they could go anywhere for new adventures, the 2 riding off over the water toward what looks like Godzilla. Cute mini, and very quick read!

**Warren Ellis should be held accountable for his decades long power-wielding grooming tactics, listed here: www.somanyofus.com. If someone is showing these signs, I can only hope the person is able to get themselves away from the behavior as quickly as possible, since some people don’t have to answer for their actions, and hopefully he has learned not only how to evade, but truly develop in a healthy way from rape culture. Anyone can get stuck in bad situations, but if it’s being hidden or brushed aside, one can easily be gaslit. He’s still a talented artist, but being aware helps context with any art.