The Unprofessionals - A Sociopathic Bromance #1

By Colin Rankine

2 young guys, Leo and Jake are at a horse race, the 2 arguing whether becoming known for murder, and ending up on a criminal show was cool or not. The 2 next compare who is more likely to become a serial killer, neither making the necessary quota of psychotic breaks. 2 weeks before, Leo is at a party and bored, the group he's with deciding where to go next. They decide to trespass on the High Line, Leo no longer entertained by the 2 girls and gay guy he'd come with.

Lucky, the gay guy then opens up about not being interested in his gangster bf anymore. A few days after this, Leo is staking out an electronics shop from the opposite roof, Jake on the ground and tracking Lucky's bf. They get opportunity to listen to a chat he has on a bench hiring a killer for a personal job. They attempt to follow the killer, but instead meetup to discuss updates.

Leo shows off a highly traceable sniper rifle in their van, he using it for the high quality scope. This is when Leo comes clean with his plan to hijack the hired killer's job, the 2 helping out a Lithuanian lady with boxes, she telling Leo about a dance he should attend for the girls, readying to leave after her shift helping his old relative. Leo snaps at the man when he doesn't call him by his chosen name, and he goes outside with Jake to set up their bbq as Jake answers a call from Julia. The 2 decide to chat more next morning for both having plans currently.

Jake is next convinced to kill the Chinese fella since he was a shit human. The same night, Bojack is intro'd as Jake and Leo are readying to infiltrate inmasks, Bojack settling a deal as the Chinese gangster gambles at cards. As he leaves them in a huff, Jake meets him in samurai attire and sword. He ends up having to dodge, since guy was armed with a more direct weapon.

When Leo nearly gets killed, Jake is able to finish him. Bojack tries to save 1 chick who helps him, but Lugo kills her. Meanwhile, Leo saw their job was done, and tells Jake of their now being ninjas. The cops can't believe what all the criminals had left behind as they stare at Jake's sword sticking out of a corpse. Better than Archer and Armstrong, since they both shared the annoying tidbit of referring to a guide which doesn't exist nor is mentioned other than by note. It's ok to pass if not a smidge more entertaining than the aforementioned.