The Thessaliad

By Bill Willingham

Fetch shares of being surprised humans survive as long as we do what with how much danger we ignore, like a butcher who is actually a monster. Then, a man is practicing greeting Thess as Fetch's telling of the butcher monster having to do with an underwater dragon's nest, now being empty. Stanley finishes Thess' class, and as he follows her out onto campus, attempts to ask her out. She allows his offer of pie, and states he could walk her home and have 1 cuppa with no smooch. As he's complimenting her tea, monsters bash through her door, and bit Stanley.

Thess proceeds to make a protective circle as Fetch relates how he's hired the dog beasts, and is sad to see them dead. Fetch walks in surveying the damage and chatting to her of how he'd attempted to change the minds of his clients, but they insist on using the daughter's of Garm. Thess' response is to throw some black plague subs at him, which he declares has no effect, quite pleasantly. She then realizes his corporeality and doesn't recognize him as 1 of the many she's killed. Thess makes him get to his point once introing himself, he stating he is there to take her to hell.  

Fetch narrates how his client has planned on him getting snuffed, since the Daughter's of Garm only happened to also destroy Thess' ghost catcher as 2 costumed creatures as humans chat of Satan making all choose sides. Nefertiti vows to be on the fella's side, but only pretend to join Satan. Nefertiti's master, returns to the manse, where a little boy sees his head transform into a bird head, and inside he informs the small group of Death gods no one noticing they were gone, some a bit peeved, each a bit not human or undead. They also discuss waiting until Satan's fight was done, so all they had to do is find a strong human to feed the 4 for a few years.

Meanwhile, Thess is preparing to leave before the cops come, she hearing sirens, so accepting Fetch's clients' ruse, and goes off to locate them. As she goes downstairs, she's met by a neighbor, and she warns not to go upstairs for the mess, she then sensing they were no longer on her staircase, for they had walked down for too long, she believing her world isn't nearby anymore. Soon, they reach a ticket booth with a line, Fetch chatting and giving away what is confirmed in Thessaly. Thess is relating what she expected her mission to get to his clients would entail, as the Sphinx interrupts.

So, Thess cuts in with the well known answer to the obv riddle, the Sphinx sad she didn't get to ask it for the 1st time (in this comic), and Thess stating how the Sphinx definitely didn't get a decent shake, since no writer had supplied more than 1 joke for the poor dear to make, so Thess supplies a new 1. As they're leaving on the train the Sphinx asks for the answer, and Thess admits she doesn't know. When she's trying to sleep, Fetch can't help but ask qs for boredom, she reluctantly obliging, and Fetch talking of how wasteful she is with her long life. Fortunately, they reach the next stop, and she reveals if she follows the rules of questdom, she is guaranteed a meeting with his clients.

They enter a gated front garden to a house, meeting the giant 2nd obstacle, he readying to chop her up, when she confuses him with the semantics of his choice of phrase, she lulling Lester the butcher into a vulnerable state, before using his own axe on him. Fetch is feeling sorry for the turd, but Thess shares her diminishing spell wouldn't have lasted for long. Thess regards his butting in, and Fetch thinks she is flirting with him by stating he should remember her killer status, he not believing her, and she dismissing his nonsense.  

Fetch continues his belief she had woo-pitching for him as she looks for the 3rd monster. He continues talking at her as she wanders a large garden, and climbs a statue to look across the space, and sees something which turns her to stone. Fetch becomes solid enough to handle her bag, and takes out a bottle which releases a flame elemental, Fetch asking it to burn all hedge-like areas, and Thess thawing and falling to the ground. Fetch fails to catch her despite the, I got you.

Thess is impressed her fire elemental even obeyed him, but Fetch knew he is a special boi. The Death Gods chat of Fetch seeming to be playing his own side, now but they are still heading for them, 1 feeling this should be what they desired, but an awkward silence reigning supreme. Meanwhile, Thess and Fetch are at a cafe getting some grub whilst they wait for the next train, she revealing she'd learned who Fetch's clients were, signs being everywhere. They leave, and Thess deduces the possible Death Gods behind her obstacles, and when they reach their destination of a funeral parlor, they are leaving a bus. As they go deeper into the house, they see a massacre of people with black birds all over the place. They start pecking at her as the gods emerge, impressed by how ez she'd made it.

Fetch is in denial by how Thess had failed to win this fight as a bird pecks her eye out, her lips already gone. The gods are wondering whether soup's on, when the large guy says he doesn't feel her soul, Fetch feeling ill from eating a bunch at the cafe. The group doesn't believe it possible, and then Thess comes out his middle, they truly shocked, and running, but Thess trapping them so they had no choice but to face her. Thess then reanimates the dead people, and magically puts them together, asking for tem to locate and take revenge on their killers.

Next, Thess gathers the blood of Morrigan, spilled on the floor, and prepares to battle them, knowing Fetch'd hoped she'd take them all on at once so he didn't have to fight off as many in the end. Thess vows she'll make Fetch pay for the role he played, as well as she going after the 1st chick god. The goddess wants to back out and wave a white flag, but Thess is beyond this prospect. In the end, Thess shows her mercy, and kills her quickly, Fetch not impressed by her tactical choice, she not bothered as she goes after the others, making it clear he can't escape her for moving them off-world.

Thess sits with Fetch on the porch as it floats end over end in space, updating of letting Morrigan and Pluto walk, for being so ancient. So, this means she transforms Morrigan and Pluto is placed on a dead planetoid, putting charms on them to not be where she is, and Osiris, the bird head, she kills. She scatters his bod in pieces out in space, she then bringing them back, and at the diner, he again tries to be cute by calling it a date, she soberly stating he should consider running, since she had the goddess' blood to make her ghost trap. This doesn't phase Fetch, who sticks to the idea she is putting the moves on him, and farewelling, for now. So simply entertaining, and sad there isn't any other incarnations I could find after Thessaly. Crossed fingers it returns!