P.G. Wodehouse: Five Complete Novels

By P.G. Wodehouse

Granted, the author's note I'm referencing is for Bertie Wooster Sees it Through/Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit, but since I already read this, and The Return of Jeeves, I decided to start with the 3rd novel, but had to note Wodehouse's hilarious aside to a fella with Simon and Schuster; he receiving an amusing dedication, which Wodehouse had stopped giving his time to, since he felt he no longer felt they were giving him any return value, but broke his silence for this lucky fella, who had sense enough to praise his work.

Spring Fever In NY, Cobbold is on his way to his office, chomping to get more cash out of the non-ritzy folks, he in quite a chipper mood. His son, Stanwood, was currently stowed in England, away from Eileen Stoker, he thinking about a Lord Shortland's birthday, and upon greeting his secretary, Miss Sharples shortly, his actual meaning was sing-song and glorifying the day, but came out with he requesting she take down a message to have Western Union make a call to Lord Shortland at 7 am and sing him the bday song. Shortland was a relative to him, a kind of cousin, he giving backstory of getting info on a pretty girl way back on a magazine, Cobbold cutting himself off from chatty Kathy-ing too much. He then gets the news of his mail from Sharples, 1 from Stan asking for more cash, he then dictating a letter for a business deal, getting through the rest of the day and getting home to his armchair, a drink, and his paper, but before perusing, thinks of how well he'd sidelined his son's lovelife with Stoker.

Stan had fallen into giving his hand to her, this making Cobbold's golf handicap spike to worse numbers. Stan's intellect was also q'd by his pop, he the athletic sort, and was the stereotype, Cobbold not trusting any kind of actors, including Stoker, since when they inevitable divorced, Cobbold expected he's be the 1 down the drain for paying Stan's alimony. So, Stan was off with Cobbold's hired gentleman's gentleman, to keep him there til notified, he finishing his browsing of the paper, and getting sleepy-eyed, when he sees a pic and learns it's Stoker, he not trusting her looks, but then is kicked from sleep mode when reading the 2nd line of she filming in England. He immediately going to work phoning Western Union to wire 2 messages.

Stan, the next morning was having a Jaws dream, where he was the 1 chomped, his face looking like a hippo, and Augustus Robb, his valet entering the room like a breath, his background in thieving, but he finding the light, so now serves. Aug doesn't have a gentle manner, so yells "Hoy!" and saves Stan from his shark, but upon opening them peepers, is viewing everything in yellow tint, Aug still yelling, announces what he'd brought for him, a poached egg, but Stan was dealing with pain in his noggin, Aug plain about it being his own fault, coming back this morning walking into the sit-wear, (Aug has perhaps a Cockney accent, fun reading phonetic) then suggesting he take a walk at the park, Stan's reaction being to cover his face from the light. Aug is a forward and unruly butler, Stan even letting him go during their chat upon Aug's refusal to get him a drink, Aug temporarily dismissing the dismissal, and making up for it with a revitalizing drink from the pharmacy. Stan is happy for himself, as Aug regards the silly idea of Stan attempting to end his service, he knowing who paid his salary, but then berating Stan for blabbing to Mike Cardinal of his burgling past, and Stan also waving this off in return, he claiming not to having shared anything with Mike, but then assuring of Mike being able to keep quiet.

This also reminds him through Aug's q's about his party last night, and Mike and stoker getting chummy, he recognizing Mike being good looking. This is redirected upon Aug confessing Mike was head over heels for Teresa Cobbold, she an old buddy, Aug further confiding how he'd gotten this info being by reading a letter Mike'd started when Aug had been over to his place the day before, he also complimenting Mike to his face on how far he'd gotten and depth. Stan is shocked by this, but the convo pauses when Aug grabs the phone to answer a call, he requesting it like, "Gimme", and setting up a lunch for him with Mike, despite he wanting to cancel, and Aug continuing after hanging up of Stan needing a "Turkish bath", but then has to grab the door, Stan stating he wanted anyone wanting to see him to be turned away. With blissful silence came the reassuring thought of Mike not after Eileen, he continuing to try to find supporting facts in this, but either way was saddened for his best bud to be struggling with his love, it not making sense why Terry Cobbold would string him along, he popular and had cash to spare.

Stan then reminisces on Terry and his first background-sharing chat being a bonding one. Stan also would be glad for the 2 if they hitched up, lulling himself with thoughts of Eileen, when Aug bursts in again with his pop's letters, 1 being his allowance, and the other instructions to Stan to get over to a certain address, his reaction being to the negatory, but Aug ofc, agreeing with his pop and the country being good for them, Stan becoming resigned to his Eileen-less fate, Stan being told once more to go get his Turkish bath whilst Aug styled his clothing like he'd stepped from a painting. About 4 and a quarter hours after receiving his b/day tune sung at him, Claude Cobbold was looking out his window and imagining his leftover monthly allowance was $200 rather than a few coins worth left. His outlook was dark for a festive day as this, he well into his feeling of not being happy with his ancestral home, his fave straw hat missing, his usual cook away visiting fam, and his kitchen-maid burning the bacon to charcoal, his houseguest supposedly leaving this noon, and his own daughter, Adela refusing his request for $200.

When Adela'd asked why, he doesn't feel comfy saying it was so he could get hitched to his cook, 1 of his daughters, Clare coming in, she ignoring him as he quakingly asks after his hat, she asking about who owned the stamp album she'd discovered, Claude recognizing it was his, she planning on having it appraised before adding it to her sale for the priest. When she's about to exit Claude again inquires about his hat, she instead q'ing where Terry was, Claude becoming annoyed with the mention of Cosmo Blair, who wanted her to read the 2nd part of his play, Claude not liking the man's name, and also described him insultingly, Clare defending him as she enters and re-exits the room a few times, next coming in being the butler with his other daughter, Adela insisting he drink malted milk, the butler, Spink, another source of Claude's aggro, since he also was after the cook's hand, and Spink happened to look more elegant than Cobbold. The other downside was the socializing edge Spink had, Claude having to be wary of Adela seeing, he going over all of Spink's gold stars in his woo pitching, since he could imitate Spencer Tracy, and had the chiseled jaw, and nephew in showbiz, Spink setting down his drink in silence and leaving, the phone ringing and Claude picking up suspiciously, Mike on the other line and shortly reintros himself and only leaving a message for Terry, then ringing off, and Terry entering. Claude's appearance lightening in its corpse-like pallor, Terry a light compared to his other 2 high maintenance girls, and definitely not as difficult to bear as Cosmo or Spink. Terry outdid her sister Clare in the looks dept., Clare taking after Claude, which was rough on any girl, due to his lack of Earl-iness, as mentioned, Terry getting the tie straightener looks from the horn dawgs.

Their morning chat starts chummily, and continues with her dismissing the message from Mike, and empathizing with her pop's light b/day prezzies, not only in moolah, but physical gifts, as well, the 2 he'd received being a mystery novel and some ties. Claude was definitely feeling the lack even though he was better off than most earls, regardless of he living off the kindness of Adela, who was quite conscious of his spending, so hindered his proposal plans, as well as she preferring to stay with him there. Claude mentions how trapped in a coffin he felt by his home, and Adela making him feel ashamed for what he spent on, so ofc he getting what Mrs. Punter, the cook needed being much more improbable, she wanting a place to enjoy her golden years. The 2 then cross topics, since Terry'd been saved by Stan temporarily when she was low on funds, Claude mentioning the 7 a.m. wake up call by Stan's pop, Ellery.

Terry then relates Mrs. Punter'd taken issue with Spink's gambling, and with Terry's supportive words reminds him he had a good chance of winning her over, Claude staying sober about the positivity, but much less down as he answered the phone, again being Mike, and Terry relaying a simple, but mysterious message before he hung up. Terry explains she wouldn't marry Mike per his request, and how he'd come to ask when they'd met up whilst she'd been lunching with their mutual buddy, Stan, this pleasing and reminding Claude of Terry should wanting to hitch up for freedom's sake (oxymoron? for some.. :)). She also shares how Adela thought Cosmo Blair was a better suitor for her, Claude definitely opposed and realizing how Clare'd got it in her head to take him, due to her reaction earlier. They touch on the subj. of Mike's good standing to fortune with his job, which had Claude wondering as to what caused Terry to refuse him, but she not feeling like sharing, instead talking about Claude's want of $200.

Terry suggests he renew his aim at Desborough, his son-i-l, who was coming by about the stamp album, and since he had lumbago, Claude should attempt a sneak attack, what with he not able to move quick, like before, sensing the favor about to be asked. The man then comes in with a walking cane, looking like a vice prezzie ready to discover dirty bank tactics. Upon spotting the book, Claude and Terry eyeball each other knowingly as the time being ripe to act, so when Claude places a hand on the man's shoulder, regarding first the lovely stamps, he asks for the green, Des shocked and ofc stating the woulds if one coulds. Then, Claude learns of their joint banking, Claude knowing he was lost, he about to mention what he thought of a married couple being on 1 account when Adela comes in.

Now, she was a decade and a half younger than her hubby, and had the look, as well as the spirit of a Russian Empress, currently looking like someone had already tried her temper. Upon mentioning Cobbold, Claude temporarily joins her side, since he'd wired to have them put up Stan for an unknown amount of time, which pleased Terry, then Des piping in with having gone to school with Ellery, and how wealthy he apparently was, then getting sucked back into the stamp collection. Adela lightens, firing off tasks for Des to handle, Claude getting steamed again, since he'd now be visiting London with flicking change to work with, and as Des confirms his missions, he states of discovering some fascinating worth-something stamps, so Adela states they'd hold off giving it to Clare, there being a limit, apparently for how much one should donate to Indigenous people. After which Claude finds himself having to insist the album was his property, and Clare definitely wouldn't be getting it, Des being sent off, then Adela surprising the hell out of him when she not only supports he entertain Stan for lunch, but invites Terry along, who immediately gets ready, Claude wondering if Adela'd been Mr. Scrooged, but Claude having to bulk her initial give of 2 pounds to 5, lucky chap, he then getting luckier when she leaves and Des comes back with better than a fiver (the desc. of how an earl'd scream with joy at the sight of 1 was dang funny), a tenner, and the look he shared with Des as he left, being of the adage to not mention it to the hubby.

When Terry returns, he tells of their good fortune, he making it clear, only the 2 of them would reap the spoils when she mentions Stan, he judging him by his pop's misstep of waking him at the buttcrack. Meanwhile, Adela'd rung and Spink enters, he revealing he'd worked for Ellery, and Stan was swell, Adela relieved to know their unknown guest wasn't a scum of the erf, type. Stan apparently feels quite perkier after his Turkish bath: he getting stewed until he's bursting with internal bubblies, then massaged, after comes the cold shower, and a plunge in chillier, perhaps bucket-like water, then is put forth on his merry way. He gets over to Barribault's Hotel with its large and small bar, to meet Mike, this time going to the small bar.

Meanwhile, Claude gives 3 pounds to Terry to buy a hat, and he makes a trip to his fave club, getting a bot of champ and mixed drink, then ready for B.'s Hotel. Claude and Stan, the only 2 currently in the bar, beside the bartender, begin eyeing each other with fascination, but don't chat just yet, Claude next seeing a wasp go past his face and land on Stan's be-coated back, slapping it with a fair whack, which catches Stan in the middle of drinking, he swiftly changing to fuschia, which has Stan rightfully exclaim, but Claude explains with the single word of "wasp", this being repeated with telling emotional accenting, the 2 then would get the next round, Claude taking the honors. Stan, due to feeling the kinsmanship of lovers woes, and also having had a McGuffy's Special (the bartender is McGuffy), confides all which'd occurred to him, and how he was being sent to a castle out in nowhere, Claude concerned for the boy after getting to know him, he advising he stay away from castles, Stan having to reiterate the point of being forced by papa, he regretting not going the normal route of telling your probs to the barkeep. The time then comes when they could relate these issues, Caude confessing his want of his cook as his wifey, Stan in support, and then singing a 52-yr-old b/day song, stopping short for headache, and needing a dunk in cold water.

Whilst he's gone, Claude begins getting paranoid of the possibility of Stan somehow accidentally letting out his cook love secret to Adela, but remembers they wouldn't be crossing paths again, and as he begins to turn and order another reassuring M.'s Special, when a young man approaches him with the intent of handshaking him, whilst how-do-you-doing. It comes out this was Mike re-introing himself, showing how devoted he was to Terry by revealing his attention to her nose details and eyes, being quite firm as to what he thought appropriate as to her attributes NEVER being only referred to as "nice", Claude liking, but registering how much the young man seemed o.c.d., and after he attempts to get an invite to Claude's, he defers his inability for Adela forbidding it, Stan being an exception,and when he returns from the b/r, and Claude is shocked with he being his guest, Mike reveals Stan couldn't keep a secret to save his life, and how he could take his place whilst Stan could remain in London, this pleasing Stan so much, he biffs off before they could begin lunch, Claude getting a phone call after, and informing Mike before this of Terry being on her way to meet him, Mike having a concerning habit of insulting her with names like, "Fathead" and "half-wit", all due to her refusing him, Claude liking him for his beauty, money, and fame. Barribault's, due to catering to the ugly rich, was equally hurtful to the vision-balls. Terry'd sat with her new dome-cover next to a couple fat bankers, Mike thinking a grand, "Boo!" makes for a decent greeting, scaring her out of her seat, and declaring, "You!", in response (I hear a similar style to Seinfeld saying, Newman!). 

They regard how Mike'd met Claude, and of when he'd been called for a call, Terry curious who it could be, but Mike turning focus on her thoughts about his lovely letter, and if her papa'd relayed her message properly, she confirming, so he declaring his resolve being strong, and his lips sealed about Claude's wish to hear wedding bells, he then revealing he was at the hotel to meet Stan, he then catching her up on what'd occured after she'd mentioned Stan staying with them, making sure he stank like a handsome prince, who saved the day, Terry noting she'd ofc, have to play ball for Claude, despite Mike's double motive of pitching mad woo. Terry voices her lack of eagerness, as he attempts to show the bright side to his depths when Claude returns with a skip in his step, announcing of Des having found a stamp in his collection worth a grand. Augustus Robb was puttering about the apt at 2, when he notices Stan lounging on the couch, hiding his cigar, and upon idly chatting at him, realizes he was lushed, so would go back for another draught restorative and would ask for a stiffer mix. Stan then soberly responds by telling Augustus need not be packed anymore, he disappointed, but bouncing back quickly, what with his previous career, instead asking why he looked so rough, Augustus making a nuisance of himself when suggesting Eileen'd dropped him, but Stan requiring to unload, and confesses she'd changed her prerequisites to find a hubby with prospects, Augustus Robb noting she had good instincts then, and was about to speak of his Uncle Reginald (Jeeves?), but Stan not interested, so instead is offered a helpful drink, and upon Augustus' return, Stan had come up with going to Eileen to change her mind, Augustus Robb stating he wouldn't succeed, what with having to go to Beevor due to a recent correspondence, where his pop now required pictorial evidence of his being there.

Augustus Robb then suggests he get a move on to see if he could stop Mike, which Stan had missed by mo's, so orders a special, and continues to look haggard. When Mike gets his 1st look of Beevor again, he reminisces on his 1st view of Terry with jam on her face looking out a window, she not remembering the jam or the meeting at all. Claude was silently in thought over his pricey stamp. Thinking about the expression he'd get when Spink learns of it, but his plan waylaid by discovering Spink'd left by motorbike recently.

So, Claude leads fake Cobbold and Terry to Adela, but not before Terry brings the idea of Adela possibly trying to keep his stamp as payment for their staying and eating, etc. Mike has a plan though, the idea accepted by Claude, since it had Mike mid-shake of Adela's hand as Claude went for the album and hides it, Mike 1st confirming the severity of Adela's wrath if sniffed out as a fraud. Mike does get his sails buffeted a bit, on first viewing of her, but he rallies round and Adela puts her best food forward, happy to see how pretty he was, and Terry meeting the bill, as well. She has Terry escort Mike to his room, and when Claude asks about his stamp, it takes her a mo. before declaring it wasn't his, since Clare'd uncovered the album with his name on it in his desk, and the 1 with the stamp actually being Spink's.

Claude doesn't take this news well, soon denying it was possible, but this being why he'd left, to gain the proof by the man who'd gifted it to him, Claude not as chipper about tea as he'd normally be. Meanwhile, Spink was in a joyful state, even happier to see Claude waiting outside the gate, Spink stopping to chat with him, ignoring formality what with being off-duty, and stating how he had Claude by the short and curlies. Even though upon Claude decaling the fallacy, he plans to have a stand-in for Rossiter, and Claude'd be screwed. As Spink walks his bike beside Claude, he reverts to proper etiquette as they see Cosmo Blair, he greeting both and stating to Spink of knowing his nephew, the actor, and he'd heard about a job he'd get in touch with another fella about for him. Spink cancels the plan with disappointment, and goes to attend the bell, Adela having him attend Stan, which'd brighten him, since he knew him, so would also be pleasantly surprised.

Currently Mike was ready for dinner, and his Blue Room was quite comfy. (2nd grammatical error discovered, and to Wodehouse, it seems extra wrong. "He particularly like the easy chair." Oh he did, did he, Editor? He like it?) He was lounging and thinking of Terry when Spink enters, Mike noting why Claude was worried, then Spink acting like he'd been mistaken for thinking Stan was there, but Mike confirms the ID, Spink realizing the tables have shifted again. Mike decides to attempt a diplomatic way of coming to an understanding, Spink detailing what he already knew of him, who decides to reach the crux and ask what he would need to stay quiet. Money being the chosen avenue, Mike is unready by the 200 clams being Spink's settled upon amount.

Adela comes in next to check on Mike's comfort, receives verbal confirmation by Spink of his reunion with his bud, then she leaving for hearing Des. struggle with his tie. Mike then reveals to the blackmailer of not having signed it with his properly given name, and didn't suggest backing on his word now with all the 'splaining he'd have to do, but how Mike'd saved Spink from a life of crime. Claude'd become a bit squirrelly with nerves, since he was apt to lose much if his daughter were to uncover his ruse, but calms after 3 days'd past. He recognizes how Mike'd saved his ass with Spink already, leaving him wondering still how Terry resisted Mike.

Adela and Claude were currently petting the pup, Whiskers when Mike interrupts to first ask for a better name to call Claude, landing on "Shorty", secondly, he bringing troubling news, which contained Stan currently being on the premises, but not quite within the house. Mike received correspondence of he being at the inn and awaiting Mike for a chat, he detailing Stan's current snafu, Mike reassuring them they weren't in too deep, yet. Terry's skeptical, but Mike believed in himself, revealing why upon their open house Sat, the doors being open for ticket entrance, which'd be the perfect time to picture-take, and not even Spink being a worry. Before they leave for dinner, Mike also confesses he'd update Stan next morning, despite he being high-strung about it.

Upon reaching the dining room, Adela says they were waiting on Rossiter, Stan walking in clumsily. Mike no longer believes in his ability to turn this around, now, he Claude, and Terry, plus Whiskers present, and unable to see the light. Mike eventually comes to the conclusion of nicking the stamp, since Adela wasn't giving Spink the stamp til Des found the right price to sell. Mike then helps rationalize the felony by reminding Terry he'd gifted it to her in their school chum days.

Claude was going along with it, but also saw hiccups, 1 cleared up with Terry not minding the amount being given was a fairly hefty 1, but after she'd gone to ask Des about where Adela kept the album, Mike prodding out what was on Claude's mind. When Terry returns, she brings the worrisome update of Des being suspicious of both Spink and Stan of trickery, so locked the stamp in the safe. Mike requests quiet absorbing of this new trouble, and upon walking into his room, finds Stan. Stan has been shaken with the performance he'd been made to play, esp. when adding Des along with Adela.

So, Mike hastens to his flask and gives it to Stan, but this ending his empathizing, since Stan'd put them in this new mess. The 2 continue and even Stan knows the only way forward was to steal the stamp. When Mike speaks of why this stumped him, Stan offers up Augustus Robb, this when Terry and Claude walk in. Mike learns of Augustus' talent, he then introing the rest of the room and setting up the scene for a chat.

When Mike makes the wrong move of offering a drink, but Stan partaking, they're temporarily ruffled by Augustus being over attempting to help Stan from his habit, the fella sniffing the issue and apologizing, the reminder of Terry's title bringing Augustus back from his funk. The buttering continues before they laid the job out, starting with their agreement of the shadiness of Spink, Augustus' outlook darkening as they yarned about the stamp. Augustus straight up declines though, multiple times, and when Stan blasts out with holding Augustus down, so he could give him a wallop, Mike climbs onboard, this threat enough to change his mind. Upon his exiting with his next step being to collect his tools form a buddy in London, Mike offers to tag and get the needed booze, Claude considering tasting the varietal leftovers.

Mike lays out the plan which has them all meeting in the study 1st, Augustus'd make marks on a window which'd allude to the b&e, Claude very much behind this part, then Mike'd be ready to soothe any leftover nerves, this also being when Stan'd retire to bed, for definitely being bad luck, and Terry'd follow since she sounded like puppies in a basket when excited, and girls weren't conducive to missions of this sort. Terry puts up a quibble, but eventually accedes, slightly, ending with her looking hella comfy reading a novel in the study. This at 1st worries Claude, but then takes advantage of talking Mike up, and learns Terry's views on the young chap. He at 1st is brightened by the idea of Mike's "melting" look "burning" like a "dart" at her, but Terry soon states she had a good idea of Mike putting these looks on many a girl, only to sleep with them.

Terry mentions how he'd looked upon getting back from London, but Claude hadn't seen the scene, giving Whiskers a run. Terry makes clear of her feelings being positive toward Mike, which is why her head warned to be sensible, she following the call, despite the idea of a Claude-less house if he got what he wanted, she being left with Adela. When Mike comes in, he isn't pleased by Terry's rebellion, but wishes to speak to her, so asks Claude to check on Augustus. Claude lets him know he hadn't gotten a drink and Augustus wouldn't share.

So, Mike informs where he could locate his stash in his bureau. Terry uses their 1st mo.'s to chat about Claude's unfortunate health, Mike turning it to himself, and she finally voicing the reason she wasn't saying yes, was for his beauty, which truly stumps him. After eventually coming to terms with Terry's fat-headedness, Claude returns to tell of Augustus no longer toiling at the safe, Terry suggesting he'd be in the library, and being correct. Having greeted the group with a "Hoy!", Augustus was obviously well toasty, getting too loud with his welcome, he continuing his drank of crème de menthe.

Mike knew Augustus was at least at oiled up point, Augustus receiving a good laugh when Mike explained, "Shorty was short for Shortlands", and then when Mike is about to go off, and track down Augustus' tools, he switches to sadness phase, yearning for a girl. She hadn't met him at the registry office (misspelled, btw: ofice), and perhaps she'd gone to the wrong 1. Ofc, the q was why hadn't he asked, well he didn't consider the idea til a couple weeks after. He then takes the job in America not long after, and there they were, pretty much.

Then, Augustus takes a turn of subj. on to Mike and Terry, he attempting to change topic, and upsetting Augustus. Then, Claude comes back without tools, this turning Augustus' attitude slightly to threatening. Although Augustus didn't recollect their chat from earlier about his tools, he did now know he'd placed them under the sofa. When Mike brings them to Augustus, he's kept his sights on Claude, disparaging earls in general.

The chat skips to how many girls Claude had, since Mike'd mentioned Adela, and Augustus'd forgotten Terry had sisters, then Mike turns Augustus stubborn by attempting to make him focus, throwing his tool bag out the window, and another female voice being heard form the hall. Mike gets whacked in the face by the bag before its plummet into the moat, he determinedly walking out of the room. None of the others knew what'd happened, since not hearing the woman's voice from the hall, so everyone stared at 1 another with confusion. Claude goes into action 1st, but only so he could exit and get his hands onto some of the alchie leftovers, stating his plan for sleepytime.

When Claude makes it out the door, Terry blames Augustus for the eye bruising clock, but not into making Augustus feel too much worse, he rounding on the topic of Terry seeming to be budding her lurv of him, but then gets a little side-tracked on some of the notable delectables of America, then his troubles with Stan. Then, as he regains topic of Terry smooching Mike, already, the fella walks in with quite a bruised shiner, Terry getting emotional which was odd, as he explains how he'd turned Adela from investigating, by blaming poor Claude. So, when Terry'd gone to fetch a steak for Mike's bruise, Augustus kept bleating on Terry being a little piece, etc. Mike gets Augustus in an acceptable posish, to literally kicking his ass, after being reminded of Stan's skill, and Augustus refusing to stop calling her fluff, and pieces.

Terry reenters before Augustus can respond to this, so he walks out, Mike mentioning what'd occurred, which gives Terry reason to mention Augustus' having been cheerleading for Mike, he stating he'd make it right in the morning. Terry then able to broach the subj, of how solitary Mike'd felt in Hollywood, but Stan having shared of all the girls Mike'd seen, he no longer believed Stan was fit for normal society. He admits to being friendly, ofc, but then tries for another q of hand, auto-deny still being met. She then finally confesses where her prejudice of pretty boys stemmed, Mike now attempting to convince her how different he was from the rest of the pretty-boy bunch, the table turning a bit with his news of having to return to Cali soon, and debating whether he should steal a kiss like Augustus'd suggested, it seeming to be "answered" to the affirmative, Terry getting weakened by his serious-seeming turn.

Stan wakes at 2 am, having left agreeably all the interesting happenings in aid to the plan, but since it was a few hours after, he didn't see an issue with him going to the library to get a status update, and a glimpse of Augustus smashed, which'd be a sight to behold, obv. Upon stepping in, and acting like a pup wanting to join the party cautiously, Stan whispers a hello, which scares Terry out of her seat, she q'ing why he'd shouted. Then beckons him to her chair where he inquires of the success, Terry relating Augustus having chucked his tools out the window, into the moat, so success was nil. Stan was fused by Terry acting positively, until she confesses she was engaged to Mike.

Stan brings her down upon sharing how he'd been worried before about Mike going after Eileen at the party he'd thrown for her, but it must've been nothing if Mike was with her. Terry knew how possible it could be though, and puts her head in her hands, which prompts Stan to comfort her with a familial pat around the waist, Adela having come in protesting at the sight. It startles Stan so much, he expels a surprised, "Gosh!". So, in order to remedy the obv. faux pas, he respectfully states of being Terry's fiance.

Adela not quite seeing the positive of this as he trips and makes a bust fall. She not long after denying this could be possible, is reminded of how Des, whilst always requiring to be q'd, hadn't ever been right before, was in this mo. She afterward harkens to when Spink'd lost his glasses, and Stan's clumsy trip into her vase, earlier. She withers him a gaze, and q's if he wore specs, he affirming to the neg., she then asking, who he was, and per Mike's words, Stan ID'd himself truthfully, which also outed Mike, with Terry also confirming.

When Adela is interrogating why Mike would lie about who he was, Terry comes to Stan's aid, since she foresaw the entire story regarding their pop, as well, coming out, simplifying the story, which Adela recognizes, but soon turns good-natured, oddly. (There also seems to be a type error with the sentence ending, "...that it?" and a new line without the quotation open, 'that it?"') Adela reconfirms Stan'd been there to get close to Terry, he having been confirming q's by saying, "Yay", starting from being saved by Terry's story for them all. Upon Adela finishing up with having a chat later with Spink and Mike, she then dismisses Stan, still replying yay. Then, instead of berating Terry, and she mentioning so, she was actually quite pleased, since Stan's pop was a millionaire.

Claude wasn't happy to see he wouldn't have a mo. to himself at breakies, since Des was already there. Claude had slept fitfully, which is talking it up, waking multiple times, and staying up when birdies were catching the worm. Regardless of not having bacon, since the girl'd charcoal'd the lot, Claude wasn't happy to be reminded of Mrs. Punter being back this coming noon. He damns Augustus for screwing him, but this not affecting his ability to breakfast like a champ, being noted by his buddies as his main talent. Des then mentions of Mike leaving quick earlier and sporting a discolored eye, Claude not knowing this, and Mike not having revealed anything to Des.

Claude wasn't particularly proud of being on the receiving end of all which Des found mysterious lately, he touched by an angel with the interruption of Cosmo singing his way in with Clare. Claude wasn't reassured by this though, and before Cosmo could get to his point, Des q's whether he'd heard the crashing last night, Cosmo ignoring this and alluding to the wedding bells, whilst Clare was straightforward. Cosmo also eases Claude's mind to know their plans of staying on with him so he shan't fear losing his little girl! Instead of dealing with this further, Claude decides to calm himself with Terry's presence, Clare reporting of Adela wishing a word with him, as well.

Claude makes his way to Terry's room, definitely not in the strongest state of mind to handle Adela, currently. He does reassure himself before knocking, Adela having no bad deeds of his, so it most likely being house-related. Meanwhile, Des was visiting Adela after his breakies, he mentioning Mike's black eye and Adela stating it was her pop, since he'd gotten plastered, Des impressed with the gusto and strength. Adela also reveals the true IDs of Mike and Stan, which really threw him.

Adela explains it as Terry had, Des mentioning they should fire Spink and Adela decides, since no one'd come forward, and they couldn't trust anyone, anyways, she thought Des should claim it. Adela then gives him all she knew of the previous night after the crash they'd heard. She also gets the bright idea to reveal to Ellery of his son's hand to their Terry. After he'd returned from this mission, he states her request to locate her pop had failed, getting the update from Clare of he and Terry having gone to London for lunch.

Adela wonders, immediately how he'd gotten the cash with her frugal b/day prezzie, Des changing subj. to a magazine article he thought she'd find intriguing. Claude's reason for hastening to London had been on spur, due to feeling a crisis, esp. after the news of Mike pointing the finger at him to Adela, he thinking best to let the house breathe without his interference, and glad to get out whilst they could. He knew this nonsense with Adela was only on pause, but he preferred the idea of a pleasant last breakies, instead. As they travel by train, Terry updates the already addle-brained Claude on how many fiance's she accrued, he not quite getting it for sleep deprivation, but Terry in high spirits.

As Terry tottles to Berkeley Square, just looking at shit, she sees Stan walking toward her, the plan of being ice-cold toward him shattering when she sees how glum he looked. Upon greeting, and not having seen Eileen, yet was as far as they'd gotten before Terry noticed the time being about when she was to meet Claude solo, but Stan should walk her and unload, which he does, and has Terry reminded how dower people were trying to be around, since now he was lowering her mood. When Stan offers the letter he'd received from Eileen for her to read, it's the stench on it which catches her, having smelled the same on Mike's sleeves the day before, Stan going on about how apparently Eileen and he'd had lunch yesterday, as well, and how Stan was seeing the no-good signs all over, now. Stan interrupts himself once seeing in front of Barribault's, a taxi letting out both Eileen and Mike.

Terry reels, seeing how Mike was putting on his dumb melting look again at Eileen, and upon seeing clearly again, notes Stan had left. When Claude meets her, she has them change venue to the Ritz, then bursts Claude's bubble of Mike being his new son-in-law. Spink doesn't show his feelings, like most butlers are capable of doing, so the info he receives over the phone about who won the race was impossible to discern was good or bad for him. When he goes to the hall, he sees Claude and Terry, she requesting he messenger a note to Stan, and before delivery, replies to the affirmative to Claude's q. of Mrs. Punter's return.

This circles Claude's subj. to whine of Terry nixing Mike, she ending it after Claude replies to her reasoning with poohs. ("glilmpse", huh, editor?) Stan comes out to her looking smashed against the wall for Mike and Eileen's get together. Terry'd meant her note for Mike, but Stan understood, since this was Spink's final day. Terry is hoping he'd leave her, but when he doesn't, she tries to think of a topic which wouldn't leave her sore, coming up with whether he knew where Adela was, the thought scaring him, but reminding him of their fake engagement, and wondering if they shouldn't solidify the idea to get back at their S.O.'s.

The idea tickles Terry, and leaving Stan wondering if she'd ever calm herself enough to take him seriously. She apologizes after realizing he was being genuine, and considers the idea of a relationship based on buddydom rather than romance, the idea knocking her issues out, so Terry agrees. They seal the deal with a smooch, and awkward silence falls until Claude returns, Terry quickly turning his funk slightly with the news of Spink's release, and Claude congrats'ing and q'ing Stan for his desired cash which Stan ofc, agrees, but'd have to wait til he got more from his pop, which could be nearly a month's wait, this being acceptable to Claude. Spink then enters with a call form NY to Stan, which he alights to, Claude q'ing Spink on his soon to be outro, and reveals his win on the race, and Claude calc.ing his winnings after he'd gone, he soon aiming for the library for a lie-down, Mike then whistling his way in.

Terry's reaction to Mike's high spirits is Ice Q, city. Mike doesn't notice and greets her with 2 smooches sammied between him picking her up like a doll and swishing her about before re-seating her. He 1st mentions getting his eye painted for normalcy and her sake, then tells of good news for Shorty regarding Augustus being back on task. Mike'd recovered some tools from a buddy of Augustus', and since everyone was so far, occupied elsewhere, Augustus estimates he'd be done in 5.

When Terry lacks emotion, he afterward notes a smell, Terry regarding this, as well, and believing his reaction to it wasn't guilt-stricken enough. After she reveals having seen him in London, he finishes with how he'd seen him tagging Eileen for a 5 yr contract. Terry was melting quick, esp. as Mike goes on about his boss asking him to butter her up, and he calling her a simpleton, of sorts. After it's clear Mike only wished for her, she confesses to going along with Stan's plan, which Mike declares is null and void, and wasn't engaged to any Stanwoods.

And no Stans would get in the way, Terry quite understanding, now she'd been spoken for, for reals. Mike then plans on handling the informing of Stan to the score, Terry stating of his phone task. Mike then also confessing, late per usual, of he having talked up Stan, and Eileen was ready to accept his offer whenever he asked. The 2 then decide on marrying fast, so should decide on a registry office, Stan clopping in.

Stan'd spoken to Eileen after finishing up with his pop, he knowing and sealing Eileen for aisle, plainly stating of relinquishing Terry, if she was good with it, and she being cool, then congrats'ing Mike on getting Terry to agree, too. After Stan biffs off, Claude returns, and Terry spits out of she and Mike now engaged, his brain taking a last straw, but upon being reminded of Augustus, Claude confirms he'd chatted with him and looked like he'd been saved. Augustus comes in shortly, to grand welcoming and with success, but Adela walking in and looking ready to unload on Claude, but privately. Once receiving this, with Aug still listening, ofc through the door, Claude answers his daughter with earl-y defiance, which surprises the shit out of her, he gaining courage with Aug.'s win.

Claude even finally confesses his plan to move into a "public house", and marry the cook, Adela so ready to stop it, Claude almost doesn't register her departure to plead with Alice not to go through with this. Aug is 1st to come in congrats'ing Claude on his letting Adela have it, and was about to say more when Mike and Terry enter, she having been worrying. Claude was stating of finally being able to marry Mrs. Punter, when Aug says, he wouldn't be, actually, since Alice Punter was his lover lost. Aug also reveals being well off enough for reasons he didn't wish to share, to buy Alice a fleet of pubs, Mike then reminding the boneless sitting Claude of the stamp, he requesting it off Aug, who explains he'd swallowed it from excitement due to locating Alice, after placing it there for safe keeping, he then speedily exiting faster than Adela.

Claude is back to anguished moaning til Mike suggests he go to Cali with them, he even coming up with Claude becoming a butler-actor, he then wishing to walk the garden with Terry. Being solo finally, Claude practices m'lording in the mirror, and sees Spink in the reflection, the 2 thinking much more kindly upon the other, the 2 bonding over being single, Spink offering a drink, and the 2 walking out arm in arm and Claude telling Spink he's to call him Shorty. Feckin' cute, despite missing Jeeves and Wooster, the characters were likable enough, Spink and Augustus having their mo's of being obnoxiously annoying, this story unfortunately not lol, though.

The Butler Did It J.J. Bunyan is hosting a dinner party to 11 millionaires, and after Keggs, his butler leaves them to it, they're all sitting and discussing money, when Mortimer Bayliss, a buddy to J.J., and notably a dick to everyone else, tells of how unoriginal their ideas were, he suggesting a Tontine, J.J. explaining it being when a group invests money together until the last 1 living got the whole. The millionaires weren't quite bored enough to agree to this slim reward to 1. Mort changes the terms to being for whichever of the group's grody sons married last would get the tontine, this meeting a healthier response, the only rule, ofc to not tell the lads about it. Meanwhile, Major Flood-Smith lived in London, and had phrased correctly his thoughts about the gas co., but the letter he'd written to the paper about it, being lost and then burned when the help had forgotten to send it.

Keggs was currently retired from butlering, and it was 25 years since the party at J.J.'s, he reading the new engagements page, and once Jane Benedick enters, he stands, slowly, she the niece of 1 of Keggs final employers. Her voice stood out, even though the rest of her was lovely, as well. She learns Keggs had swiped her unc's paper to keep track of the group of millionaires sons marriages, J.J.'s boy getting a nice bundle after his pop's death and the stock market crash. The 2 then discuss Roscoe Bunyan, she having been harrassed by him in the summer at Long Island in the Bunyan property.

Young Roscoe had a habit of dunking her under water in the pool on the beach, another boy coming to her rescue. Now, whilst she still gets bad dream about this guy, it was odd he'd now be ousting her from her home. Jane next asks about the new framed picture of Keggs' niece, who acted with the name Elaine Dawn, she then biffing off to get breakies for her Unc. Uffenham, hearing him stomping about. Keggs decides to call up Roscoe, and learns he'd been out and when to call back.

Major Flood-Smith a.k.a. Lord Uffenham, was in the garden, and had done his calisthenics, now awaiting feeding at the outside table, his faithful bulldog napping beside him. George Uffenham's phys. attr. were stated to being like smooshing 2 people together to display his size, + pear-shaped. His facial specifics are also given, but boils down to looking like the White Knight in Through the Looking Glass. Jane interrupts his deep thinking with breakies, she q'ing his far off look, but he being too deep to answer, so she plants his hand on the coffeepot she'd brought with her.

This successfully brings Uffenham back, and he shares his thoughts having wandered to the subj. of Keggs, who he'd sensed was a vastly shady sort. Jane q's his meaning, so he supplies the example of where they'd been at the pub, he diverting his story, but Jane having him behind, Keggs apparently having been silver-talking the locals into betting against him and losing when they thought he'd been referring to a current boxer, rather than the original, it still being a fair, sneaky play. Moral of Uffenham's story being to watch out for the fella, Jane thinking him a "sweetie-pie", and Uffenham stating and motioning to a big ass statue from next door, he wouldn't trust Keggs as far as he could chuck the statue, Jane partial to it, since her soon-to-be hubs had carved it, and was her pop's neighbor, he not at all digging how the young man spoke to him, tone-wise. The bulldog, also called George, went against his owner's hatred, by liking Stanhope as much as anyone.

Uffenham lets this go, since his niece tended to punish him through food when he was too truthful, so he moves abruptly to the subj. of his pics, and she having checked at the gallery spot, she confirming Mr. Gish's interest, so Uffenham planned to chat with him about selling, and then he'd be able to keep living at Shipley. When the chat lingers on Stanhope too much, Uffenham asks for more coffee, which then leads Jane to mention Keggs having driven off right after she'd spoken with him. When she goes off to do her work, Uffenham notices Stanhope pop out, and marvel at his statue, so Uffenham biffs off before being greeted improperly. As Uffenham is eating his 1st bite of egg and George the dog is on his 1st of 2 biscuits, Roscoe is readying to return to Shipley.

Roscoe was a stout boy, who became a big man, and wasn't pretty in the least, he having additional chins, so most people would avert their eyes quickly to land on the young lady beside him, Elaine Dawn. Her pop was a boxer and ugly as sin, she 1 of those who defies the parent's looks. Elaine had taken the opposite route to Roscoe by planning on informing her parents of their union til after the honeymoon. Instead of driving Elaine home, Roscoe suggests she take a cab, rather than go out of his way and wanting sleep.

As Roscoe’s going upstairs, Skidmore waylays him to tell of Keggs waiting for him and reminding him who he was, Roscoe allowing the visit, but not standing for Keggs reminiscing, having him reach his point. Keggs does so by confiding he could help Roscoe make about a million bucks, this grabbing him properly, and Keggs anticipating he'd think he wanted money to invest in a million dollar idea, Keggs not wishing for this, but only to sell info. When Roscoe accepts, Keggs describes the tontine idea, and how it related to his pop's party way back when, the conclusion of which has Roscoe debate how to proceed since he and 1 other fella, who was engaged needed some financial help in order to officially take the plunge, but Roscoe's charity giving him the million. When an old af Bayliss comes in, Roscoe asks him to confirm Keggs' story, Keggs confessing he'd learned of their plan with his planted recorder, he grateful to Bayliss for his current fortune.

Roscoe impatiently redirects Bayliss to confirm the tontine, after which Keggs' plan comes out, and when Roscoe states what he believed this info was worth being a mere 50 pounds, Keggs then is asked about the other son being engaged, also was his neighbor. Roscoe isn't at all happy upon hearing the amount he was meant to put up being 20k, but the idea of how he'd get Stanhope to accept being through the purchase of his statue. So, Bayliss calls and sets up a dinner date to appraise Stanhope's art, the 2 leaving Rosco looking spent already. When alone, Bayliss q's Keggs' plan, knowing he'd lied, Keggs gleeful, but still stoic.

Keggs confides why he'd chosen Stanhope being for Jane being a good girl, then shares the name of the real engaged son, he having paid a P.I. to keep tabs. After parting, Bayliss returns to a happier Roscoe, and what he planned to do to end his own engagement, Bayliss purely tickled with Roscoe using a fella to regain his marriage pledge love letters before breaking up with Elaine clean. Meanwhile, Bill Hollister, the true contender of a million, and also happens to be built like a brick house, was gingerly walking after sporting a headache due to the same party Roscoe was at. Upon reaching his workplace and greeting the similarly sour look of the receptionist to his now ex-fiance, Angela Murphrey, Elphinstone, the receptionist disapproves his afternoon arrival.

Elphinstone also mentions the owner's irritability, which has Bill worried, until she reveals he'd already left and given him some instructions as well as a criticism of what he could do, in regards to his lateness. She also mentions Stanhope having called, but not getting a message, Hollister happy he hadn't chatted with him, and after placing his head on the cool phone, it ringing and Stanhope answering, telling of entertaining Bayliss, and wanting Hollister to attend as convo buffer, as well as old acquaintance of Bayliss. So, Hollister can't refuse the reunion, and after hanging up, decides it's time for lunch. Jane was next readying to break the news to her unc of she being off to Stanhope's to help with his dinner party, which meant Uffenham was scavenging tonight.

So, when Hollister arrives and sees Keggs buttling, he's impressed with the original recipe-style of butler Stanhope employed. He's soon outside looking about the garden, when Uffenham begins chatting about crosswords, how many people get born on Erf each year, and how terrible sculptors and this particular sculpture Hollister currently stood by, were shit. As Uffenham is off to the pub, Hollister greets Bayliss coming outside, he telling what he'd thought of him as a boy, and how lucky he felt with skirting being his godfather. Hollister feels warmth toward Bayliss, he in turn not mentioning how he'd funded his education to become a painter, then seeing and gauging Stanhope as a "poop" after he learns what Hollister had been doing with his life, Hollister confirming the man's ascertainment, then greeting Stanhope as he came back from his quest for more shares he didn't drink nor smoked.

When Hollister attempts a joke on whether Bayliss ate, the response was for Hollister to improve on his joke-making skills, Keggs then announcing dinner being ready. Bill does as agreed, and ducks out not long after coffee was brought, making it to the backyard and in a recliner by 9:30 p. Bayliss had been top form at dimmer, entertaining with stories of the wealthy, all stemming from the spectacular meal they'd consumed. Bill wishes he could've heard more, but knew Stanhope required single chat with Bayliss, now he'd been satisfied into a good mood.

So, in the garden Bill lay, a lovely evening it was beheld. Granted, his ears were assaulted by multiple homes loud child-like playing on a piano of beginner's book learning, anoth. with TV blasting, and a 3rd with some1 with a rough voice singing Gilbert and Sullivan, which had him yearning people'd become quiet. Despite this, he could've been lulled to nap, but sees an evil light, Bill believing a stranger was waltzing about. He ofc assumes his role to investigate with prowess, using his training after American Natives and once getting to the traveler's back, yells a, "Ho!", Uffenham startled and turning around.

Apparently, Bill'd become consumed with the thought to actually paint a black moostosh on the statue, and he thought since all the guests and staff were indoors, he shouldn't be caught. Then, Bill pops out, and grabs his nose in a painful fashion, but recognizes Uffenham's loud greeting in reply. Bill inquires why Uffenham was sneaking about with a flashlight, after apologizing for the nose grab, and Uffenham complaining it was useless after the fact. Uffenham explains away the reason being it was the neighborly way to wander on their communities lawns, Bill buying this, and asking how his "chop"'d been, Uffenham confessing he'd suffered through liver and bacon.

After getting Bill's word he'd still keep Uffenham's presence to himself, the elder gentleman gets a boost over their fence. Next morning finds Uffenham struggling with a new crossword, and Jane interrupts looking p.o.'d. She q's whether he'd painted a moostosh on Stanhope's statue, Uffenham able to deflect with clear conscience for having designed a beard. After being denied a change of subj., he asks if Stanhope was enraged, he a shrieky mess. Uffenham resorts to pointing the finger at neighbor kids, and gavelling the subj. once offering to take her to lunch at Barribault's and window shop after.

Then, when Uffenham brings up Stanhope's personality defects, Jane dismisses it, since the promised lunch had been declared, but Uffenham feels responsible for her, so he pours his heart out as to why he didn't think Stanhope was good for her. Uffenham loses empathy points when turning his supporting reasons being so he'd have a buddy he could chum with, and for Jane to be unselfish with her hubby choice, Jane replying how uncles needed to worry about themselves, Uffenham returning with how he'd given up his fiancee for her at 1 time (Stupid editor, it's, "...you (k)now what a fiancee is."). He relates how he'd ended his engagement, due to knowing Jane'd clash with her. The truth though, was she'd found a better fella, Uffenham relieved, since this lady had expensive needs.

What Uffenham also doesn't mention was how he'd gotten into trouble before a handful of times throughout the years by asking for his girlfriends hands if they'd run out of chit chat. Uffenham admits he'd asked because he'd been stuck in the country, and the same fate had occurred to her. This grabs her, since she'd been sensing the same, Uffenham driving home with the advice to not marry a fella out of suburban boredom like he had, she leaving him to mess with his crossword, and get ready for lunch, whilst ruminating on his words. Meanwhile, Bill was at Gish Galleries and ranting to Elphinstone how unfair it was, Stanhope had a chef like Jane, and he hadn't a tasty sammie, even.

Elphinstone reveals how Mr. Gish planned on having him take out a client, and expected him. Bill walks in on Gish dusting a naked gal statue, redirecting Gish's anger of he being late yesterday, and how he didn't feel right letting him go, since his pop'd given him the cash to start his business, and Bill was competent when he tried. He asks  about the client, and gets his wish of dining at Barribault's, Gish then learning Bill hadn't gone to view the paintings. He again, barely containing his frustration to insult Bill, but details they were Uffenham's, then listing his addy as Shipley, Bill denying this with Roscoe having claimed it.

Gish clarifies Roscoe was being rented Shipley, then states Bill'd look in on the paintings after lunch, he going to tea with a client. Gish specifies Bill's role only being to get Bayliss' opinion of the paintings, since Bill was mentioning of being flattered Gish wished for his thoughts, and as Bill was going on an airy tangent, Gish biffs off. Bill sells Daddi successfully by following the instructions to show the worse paintings first, and right before leaving for lunch, Elphinstone is on the phone with Jane and after flubbing up the name, Bill takes the receiver, and is bowled by Jane's voice, he confirming he'd be over later regarding the paintings, the 2 ringing off, and Bill transformed, wondering how Elphinstone could keep it together, and chew gum after hearing Jane. As he walks to his destination, he imagines wedding bells, then is reminded they had yet to meet, and may not.

Bill then meets up with the client, the man not very receptive, quietly eating and grunting replies, Bill happy to escort him out upon finishing his meal. He was quite down by this time, and quickly went back inside to retrieve his smokes before a wealthy Indian swiped them, and is shocked by hearing the same angelic voice. Bill couldn't believe 2 ladies in London could have such a voice, and the 1 in front of him, was pretty to boot. Jane was ignoring her close proximated ogler, until he spoke to her, she thinking she must know him, and didn't remember him, up until he reveals their phone chat, she loosening up now she knew she hadn't forgotten him, and not needing to worry about her unc's advice on boys being felt forgotten, otherwise.

Jane offers he sit, which he gladly does for feeling light headed for her charm, she surprised how he'd recognized her, but he feeling better after his sit-down enough to reveal how distinctive he found it. She was impressed by his Keats quote, but her unc's advice pops up again about boys who quoted poets being stuff to be wary of, Jane not feeling aversed by his forwardness though, and he looking at her like a small boy after a plate of ice cream. Jane also recognizes how her feelings of like toward him was more than it should've been for a girl already engaged to Stanhope. She attempts a safer subj. by speaking of Shipley, then shifting to the waiter she was waiting for when Bill'd found a way of worshipping her childhood home, he following along and listening to her current issue of having lunched by herself when her unc hadn't shown and now had to settle the bill.

Well, Bill doesn't sweat adding her 2 and 5p to his bill, and he tells how he used to paint, she remarking this must be why he didn't brush his hair, being an artist, but Bill states he let his soul move on to Gish Galleries, and reveals how he'd gotten the job. ("...one me(e)ts such interesting people." I find it insulting when editors can't even get a classic properly cleaned up.) They soon speak of Long Island, and how they both knew a specific town, Jane getting jello vision when Bill mentions having stuck up for a girl, who Roscoe kept dunking underwater, she revealing this to him. Bill has trouble believing her, this also pre-heavenly vocals as well as looks. Jane also confesses how he'd been her hero dreamboat, this sobering him, and also happy she wasn't married, he getting to his pint when her unc. interrupts. Uffenham explains his tardiness, Bill turning to see him, who he'd been peeved at being cut off, but also realizing how he'd missed the chance of meeting Jane hours earlier if he'd stayed to eat with Uffenham, which was a damn shame as he saw it.

Meanwhile, Uffenham was sharing the facts he'd learned from a fella at his club about the eating habits of foxes turning to amphibians for lack of bunny, (again, "discusison"?) since he didn't want to hear whether she was annoyed or not. Finally, Jane is able to confess how much Uffenham owes Bill for having saved her from a beating and working in the kitchen (Bill's childhood story). Uffenham gladly repays him and also eyeballs him meaningfully, so he might not mention their previous, unlawful-for-Uffenham meeting the night before. Bill doesn't fail him, esp. when Uffenham announces how this was their 1st intro, and Bill next offering how he was going to visit about his paintings, Uffenham lacking deets to clarify the type they were, and agrees to ride down with Bill after he ate, Jane staying for an old buddy, so Bill going to collect his car.

As Bill stops in front of the door to Barribaults, he sees Uffenham chatting to the Ruritarian Field Marshal about eels in the south of England, and how overpopulated they'd become, his audience captivated, until they both discover they were on different political planes. Bill toots his horn before the 2 could get ugly, and Uffenham's sitting style when getting in, disturbs Bill, since the man pauses above the seat, and then drops himself. The 2 travel in silence thinking about their respective obsessions, Jane and the marshal, until Uffenham brings up the mystery Bill hadn't quite gotten, revealing his naughty beard-painting, and how Jane was better off out of the loop. Uffenham then takes a socializing break, and doesn't say a thing til mentioning Bill's phrase for Jane, the former confirming he thought she was heavenly, and their 15 year gap reunion and Bill's puppy lurv deciding Uffenham on nurturing their young, quick lurv, when they reach Shipley.

Uffenham's reaction was infantile and gurgly, and Bill could relate, Uffenham resisting going in, since Roscoe's car was parked out front, instead showing spots outside where reminiscences occurred. Bill leads him back to seeing the paintings, since neither featured Jane, Bill assuring how lucrative painting sales could be when Uffenham tells his reasons for parting with them. Uffenham makes it to the picture hall where Bayliss was peeved for receiving company. Bill takes him on pleasantly as usual, and intro's Uffenham.

Bayliss then reveals how every painting was counterfeit. Uffenham slowly realizing they'd only be worth hundies to the right doof. Bayliss biffs it, and Bill empathises with his buddy, and how he'd have to explain the sad news to Gish, locating a phone to inform him. Uffenham was bouncing back after hearing the news from Bill.

Uffenham also saw how easily Jane would marry Stanhope, but he calmed when Bill comes back in all sympathy for his loss, and in return, Uffenham shares a story of his uncle's obsession with betting on horses which would come in 6th, his bookies not amused and usually ending up literally chasing him down. Bill marvels at Uffenham's optimistic reaction, then wishes to find Jane, so he could propose, Uffenham all for this. Bill soon becomes impatient, Uffenham having gotten Jane on the phone, Bill taking over and straight up asking her, Uffenham hoping he'd gradually rev up. Bill was looking shocked, and shares of she having gasped and disconnecting.

Uffenham was readying to school the lad on tact when Bill comes to it on his own. He next decides they should go over to hers, so he could hash it out with her right, but before they go, Uffenham confides how not only did Jane cook, Stanhope was her fiance, this pausing Bill for a mo. It also results in Bill swooning and latching to the fatty bit of Uffenham's arm, making him yelp, and explaining his startlement. Uffenham continues to his feeling with how he'd reacted upon hearing of the union himself, he wishing the boy luck on his conviction to change Jane's mind, Uffenham considering how her sis also almost married an odd duck, and thinking they were genetically eccentric.

Roscoe was acting crack addict-like with his nervous act of sitting, springing to his feet and pacing, all due to waiting to hear if Stanhope took the 20k deal or not. He'd struggled with giving up such a significant sum, but a million, come on, twas a no brainer. As he's taking a slower pace with his 2nd drinky, Bayliss returns looking in need of a drink, but only sipping a tomato juice, he sharing his struggle with listening to his doc and to stay away from the tonic, also confirming Stanhope's ready agreement only after Roscoe broke in to q. Bayliss also shares his suspicion as to why he didn't sense Roscoe was fully in the clear with Stanhope sticking to his side due to his pop and fam business.

Besides this, the way Roscoe was planning to reward Keggs had prompted a little trick to occur, resulting in Roscoe paying 20k to the wrong fella for nothing. This incenses Roscoe into declaring he would assault Keggs for his "joke", Bayliss wanting to watch, but also requiring dinner, but he couldn't miss the fun, so would tag. Uffenham doesn't normally make a habit of hosting parties at his home, preferring to set locale at the club. (Damn, editor, really? "entertian" or entertain?) Keggs buttling performance was, as usual, top notch, he greeting Hollister at the door, Keggs confirming his I.D. without trying, Hollister offering his name willingly, and Keggs then showing him in to Uffenham.

Hollister wished he'd been given time to look at the pics on the wall of Uffenham in all stages of life, but Uffenham sits him down with drink immediately, and gets to his point, but calls Bill a different name, then choosing Augustus until learning this also wasn't his name, next choosing Fred as he advises to leave Jane be for now, since finishing dinner, and he'd already shaken her. On top of this, Uffenham confides the deets on Stanhope's lucky sale, so if Bill wants Jane, he'd need to act quickly. Bill takes a mo to discuss how odd Rosco had given so much cash at all, what with he being known for cash to only flow 1 way, inside his pockets. Uffenham brings up his idea for how Bill would get Jane being his need to become ill in some way, so she'd have a reason to pity him, recalling how someone he'd known have it happen with a K.O. with Uffenham's trusty and undamaged tobacco jar, clobbering Bill and calling Jane in.

Upon Bill's resurfacing from a bad dream, he sees Uff above him with a brandy, this taste reminding him of what Uffenham'd been saying, and upon q'ing, Uffenham acts like there wasn't a need to thank him, he sharing what he'd missed, since Jane'd thrown herself all over him. Bill felt no throbbing headache from the happies he felt, Uff reiterating Jane's kissy reaction, but not calling him by Fred. Bill felt he didn't deserve Jane's change of heart, Uff catching the sound of her return with ice and cloth, looking annoyed with her unc as he biffed out. Bill still isn't used to his good luck and asks when Jane'd gotten her looks, 14 being the turning point, losing her glasses and braces, the 2 now sitting in a big chair with a picture of Uff looking in good cheer above them.

When Jane mentions how he'd missed out, since her sis was the 1 with the looks, Bill wasn't bothered, even if she was comboed Marilyn Monroe with other hotties of the time, she'd still be the plain one to him. Bill was also wondering how they'd tell Stanhope, but Jane reveals he'd let her off, for no money, the greed-bucket. Jane allows Uff'd hit the nail when he'd supposed she'd chosen him because there wasn't better available. They are soon joined by a heavy-footed Uff, who enters the room looking lively, in his way, Jane biffing when hearing the dinner'd gained billowing smoke.

Keggs comes in a little after to announce of the ruined meal, and Uffenham poo-poos this, since Bill had shared of his new affianced plans with Jane, Uff announcing they'd be celebrating at Barribault's when Jane returns with soot on her, which Uff regards she resembled one who is accompanied by banjo and singing funny songs. Roscoe was so perplexed, his driving had him total his car, so he walks home for his station wagon, Bayliss and he being allowed in by Keggs a bit later than planned, and had them enter a small living room, Roscoe spouting insults at him when speech flowed once more. Keggs takes this pleasantly, for having expected as much, and Bayliss wasn't phased by Roscoe's fire, since he had the aire of a pirate. So when Bayliss sides with Keggs, he states how he had warned Roscoe of Keggs being insulted by his terrible reward.

Bayliss then urges they move on, since they were now even, and gave way to arguing over a new deal, Keggs wanting 10%, and already had a contract, so they could make it official after he shared the true name with Bayliss. Who echoed its authenticity for knowing the name, and hurries Roscoe along for wanting his dinner. Uff was hosting one helluva dinner at Barribault's, captivating the couple with the war escapades of his youth, as well as a Boat Race night ending in a fine at the police station. As the trio return, Keggs finishes his dealings with Roscoe and Bayliss, and as he's walking them to the car, the trio meet them, which allows Roscoe to speak with Bill privately.

Uff is told after by Bill of he having been offered 1 doozy of a job from Roscoe. Meanwhile, Bayliss gets a shit meal from a bar before they go home, where Roscoe gets a call from the fella he'd hired to regain his love letters, Bayliss q'ing how he could be so flippant with his love, but not caring about Roscoe's answer of rather having the cool mil he didn't need, since his order of omelette with sides had arrived to quench the rest of his hunger. Next day brought Roscoe to Pilbeam, the P.I.'s office, getting his letters back and starting to quibble about fee when his slow peabrain surprises him with a plan to get the signed contract away from Bayliss, so he could break his promise, this involving Pilbeam. Once Roscoe broaches the new job opp, he doesn't wish to share his reason for not doing it himself was due to having met George, the bulldog, Roscoe imagining a threatening nature in the pooch.

So, as Roscoe attempts to convince Pil to accept, he sweetens the deal with a bonus, and would even pave the path by giving tix to the theatre to Uffenham and Jane, as well as drug the dog to make the swipe smoother. When Pil decides to take it for a grand, Roscoe again hesitates, Pil not interested in taking the job for less. Uff was happy with his free tix for sure, but when he sees the state of poor George, he calls Jane and Keggs, both concerned over the pup's turn of robust health. Uff decides he'll stay with George, a vet being called, whilst Jane would attend the show with her hubby.

The doc gives the dog a general ailment and prescribes light meal and rest with the med every few hours, by 4pm, Pil turning up. Uff takes a break from nursing George by going outside and spots a speedy snail, wondering how it got around as it did, when Bayliss interrupts with news of his former news regarding Uff's counterfeit paintings actually concealing some money-making gems. Uff shares in return of Jane's union to Bill, and of the boy getting Bayliss' job without knowing it was his job he was taking. They decide to take a little walk around the side of the house, and as Bayliss stops to grab a flower for his lapel, Uff spots his office being burgled from the window.

Bayliss takes the news like he'd been expecting a package, and after learning the size of the thief was petite, he locates a spade, and urges they confront the figure. (Someone didn't care much to edit properly, "discpline", much?) Pilbeam is interrupted right after securing the letter, he getting a heart-thumper, but attempting friendly innocence. It doesn't take, though, Uffenham mocking his expression and casual greeting, but after Bayliss examines the sleeping body, believes they should let him free, shocking Uff, until revealing hearing a story where a man set a thief free after having him relieve himself of all his clothes. Uff is back onboard, and Pilbeam attempts to pause the proceedings after the added plan of black paint being applied to his person, and even whimpers for a drink, which Uff kindly allows.

After completing the concoction, Uff suggests perhaps green was more Pilbeam's color, he responding by flinging the drink at Uff's face and hightailing it out the window. Bayliss and Uff give much slower chase to the gate where they meet Jane and Bill wondering who speedy was, and Uff supplying the title, returning inside to dry off before he caught sick. Jane and Bill were about to comfort each other when Keggs interrupts, and Bill makes the excuse of they planning their wedding, to which Keggs states they should pause their plans. Keggs wakes up with a huge headache and knows he'd lost the contract, but also with the plan to get back at Roscoe, since he'd figured it was him behind his drugging and thievery.

Keggs then explains his reason for saying this to Bill, explaining the tontine agreement. Bill and Jane take a mo to absorb the meaning of this for them, Keggs biffing to the chemist for alleviation of pain through head, and Bill maintaining still wanting Jane to be with him, she smitten by his readiness to turn away from the cash. Keggs again interrupting them with a cough upon his return. Keggs'd been cured by the chemist's tincture, since no pain was felt from his clearing his throat, and when he finds Uff, he's currently pondering on how golfish'd acquired a taste for the eggs of ants, then reveals ants were known to run faster in hotter climes.

Uff then reminds himself of a message from Keggs' sis to call her back, Uff next wondering over the cage of the canary, this as Keggs receives shocking news. As Uff's fascination flutters back to the goldfish, since the canary became boring, he's roused back with Keggs' cussing, damning some fella's eyes. Uff discovers he's referring to Roscoe and how he'd broken his engagement with his niece, Uff empathetic. When he tells of his disgusting actions in gaining back his love letters, and leaving her high and dry, Uff slowly births a plan, which upon seeing his niece's pop by photo from album, he discovering their ruse.

The day after Pilbeam's thievery shows Roscoe in quite a chipper mood, he on his way to meet Pilb in London. Once seesing Pilbeam in a less than similar outlook, he goes into a skillful storyteller detail of the hell he'd gone through in the less than "empty" home. Roscoe is shocked when Pilb ups his price, what with pain and suffering, as well as reading the document, but the young man stays stubborn; Until bending over, since Pilb intends to have anyone pay his couple grand, even the opposing team, so Roscoe burns his contract after paying off. When he arrives home, Skidmore announces Mr. and Mrs. Billson having come.

Bayliss awakes next morning in a shit mood and feeling old, making him tire of Roscoe's acquaintance, he not having any reason to stay, now his work was complete. A list of attributes he hates of Roscoe follows, ending with how he treated his exes and butlers. Through this speculation, he detects Roscoe's part in the theft, and has decided to pack once getting to the door, and knocking. Skidmore answers and asks if he'd agree to see Keggs, and a fella, with lady, Bayliss intrigued.

Bayliss rudely asks Skidmore to pack for him, calling him an oaf, he then entering the room with Keggs, who looked surprisingly healthy, Bayliss hoping he'd at least get wrecked by a headache, he next going on about himself, no one caring if he was assaulted in front of them, then getting to why Keggs had come having to do with the thief last night, Keggs agreeing he'd nailed it. Keggs goes on about having come for his niece's parents, currently chatting to Roscoe, and Bayliss pitying the man's optimistic ignorance of this somehow changing Roscoe's mind in giving up cash. Keggs then shares of having heard before leaving the room of Roscoe coming around to favor marrying Emma, instead. This shocks Bayliss off his high-horse, his monocle popping out.

Keggs confides, Emma's pop, Wilberforce was an ex-boxer, and he may be older, but had a left hook one wouldn't want to tangle with, Bayliss' previous outlook of Keggs being a simpleton, turning into congrats. Keggs then confesses an idea where both Roscoe and Bill could agree to split the tontine fortune. Bayliss was impressed, the 2 young men having option to sign a new contract splitting the cash, and the 2 could continue to marry their ladies (I feel bad for Emma. Other than she'll be having shopping sprees, unless Roscoe somehow shuts this down). Bayliss is even more tickled when he realizes and finds out, Roscoe'd have to start calling Keggs, Unc. Gussie.

Uff and Bayliss, whilst both tired after sitting through 2 weddings, currently were sitting in the smoking room of Uff's club, the 2 dealing with their tiredness quite differently. Uff was near dozing, and Bayliss was a chatty Cathy, but still listening as Bayliss talks about always feeling lucky he'd been too ugly to marry, so far. Uff was happy about Jane and Bill's good fortune, though, which'd be shared with him, but he's only breathing gently, as Bayliss shares how Bill's pop never was apart of the tontine, bowing out last second, but Bayliss thinking he shouldn't be told, since he seemed the sort to return it, feeling it wasn't truly his, Uff continuing to lightly snore, and Bayliss taking this as agreement. He realizes it was probably best he be the only 1 to know, he then also settling into his chair and napping righteously beside Uff. Cyoot, with the usual set up, and clever clean up, but it does make me miss Jeeves and Wooster, what with the constant references, Gussie, Wilberforce? Cute, though.

The Old Reliable Setting: Hollywood; Address: The Carmen Flores place, Adela Shannon Cork, the owner. Currently, her ex-bro-in-law, Smedley is looking as he sits on the balcony, then being approached by Phipps the butler with his forced noonly yoghurt. This existence was put upon him solely through the interpretation of his late bro's will, his widow being placed to support Smedley, but instead of paying his way, making him live with her, and eat all the yoghurt he could muster, this being the way of the last few years. After making the assumption of being similar to prison (Gaga, style), then a bird in a gold cage to a worm, he failing to get the butler to lend him a hundy, remembering "Bill" Wilhelmina Shannon, Adela's sis, who was currently visiting, and Smedley asking where she was, learning she was in the Garden Room to continue writing Adela's bio.

Phipps withdraws as Smed puts off bugging Bill til later, and dozes, Phipps currently bothered by info Bill knew, he next being rung to the Garden Room. Bill is a likeable 40 something, in a city where no one was appreciated. So, when Bill requests a strong whisky and sod., she also acknowledges how she recognized Phipps and how she would handle this sensitive ID, not planning to open her trap, but Phipps not showing his refreshed light-heartedness, yet, due to butler etiquette, but Bill regarding how he must've felt seeing one of the jurors who'd sentenced him to Sing-Sing for thieving. Smed interrupts by coming through the window, Phipps retreating, and after Smed sits, Bill confesses how shit he's aged, it most likely stemming from life with Adela, which was the perfect segue to Smed's topic.

Whilst Bill sympathizes with him, she didn't have the cash, but this doesn't completely break Smed's spirits though, since he plans to capitalize off of the prev. owner, Carmen Flores' possessions, items of hers still bestrewn about the place, she having been a Mexi-star killed by plane crash. Smed's plan involves locating her diary to make bank off of, Bill not believing he could, but she always having been smitten for him, confessing whilst he hadn't a hope of regaining his funds, once she had, she'd make an honest man of him, he stating she shouldn't make jest. Bill confirms her seriousness and shares how if she's able to secure the hundy for him through her literary agent, he better get ready for the "I do"'s, she biffing off through the window to her car, Smedley shivering with the instability of his bachelorhood. I hear this story will imitate Spring Fever, a bit. We'll see if it matters.

Joe Davenport, the winner of the jackpot Bill mentions, was lunching with Kay Shannon, Bill's niece, who took his marriage proposal soberly, and with a decline, this not being the first time, always asking during coffee. Their next subj. on Bill, and how Kay'd gotten a telegram about a scheme from her. Kay mentions to Joe, as well of seeing his little red book of numbers, and not believing the Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, line. As Kay shares of needing to pack for her vacay starting the next day (someone forgot the "T" in this.), Joe shares how Bill had invited him to Hollywood, as well, but would leave in a couple days, still lurving Kay, even though he'd blown most of his winnings and was down to a grand, she unimpressed with him.

Bill states how Hollywood's rosy days have ended, to Joe at the Beverly Hills Hotel, he having asked how the city was, the chat moving to Joe's head-o-h feels for Kay. (Someone was getting confused with their "his", remember, editor? Bill's a chick!) Bill then confesses the idea she'd had to become a literary agent, Joe realizing it was the perfect career, up until learning Bill though he could put up the 20k capital. This being her only reason for sticking around, Bill biffs off, and Joe decides to go to where he knew Kay was staying. When he arrives by taxi, stalker-like, he's at the right place right time, since he sees who he believes is the gentleman of the house coming out and hailing for his cab, he thinking this was his time to share, since if the 2 hit it off, he could potentially get cash to be shared, the 2 respectfully grateful to each other as the man joins Joe.

Afternoon found Bill in the Garden Room not looking at all happy to be doing her task of writing Adela's memoirs. Esp. due to the unhelpful notes from Adela of all the fascinating mo's she provided for Bill to choose from, she feeling there wasn't nearly enough for 300 pages worth. (Editor forgot how to spell "splended") Phipps comes in with refreshing elixir, which allows Bill a mo to inquire further about Phipps past thieving exploits, he hesitant, but Bill having a face people tended to trust, he sharing how he'd been butler first, and picked up his knack of safe blowing. Phipps confides how he'd gotten the lightbulb idea by mystery novel, it seeming practical of how trustworthy butlers seemed, so he asks around quietly, and locates a safe-buster's skill.

Phipps, at 1st isn't quickly learning, which has Bill doubting whether she shouldn't at least inform Adela, but Phipps convinces her how he'd no desire to return to prison, this seeming straightforward enough to Bill, so before they get too much further, they are next joined by the tall young fella, Lord Topham, who requests a drink in his room, feeling elation as he comes through the window, due to beating his record of scoring over 100 in golf. When left with Bill, Topham asks about her progress of memoir writing, she admitting the difficulty, but getting a burst of inspiration from their discussion, and using the dictaphone to desc. Adela's success in film, and using a quote from her, presumably, with speaking in the first person. As Topham asks after Adela, the Ex-Empress of Stormy Emotion, enters the room, currently in a pleasant mood what with being well-received in Pasadena, having been invited to lecture as a speaker. The chat casually moves to Topham's new golf score, he then biffing to a phone to share the news with a buddy.

This gives Adela time to give Bill a bit of shit for wearing slacks, and looking dumpy, which she takes better than most could when under Adela's scrutiny. When Adela tries to act snotty about the progress made on her memoirs though, Bill sets her straight on it being a positive she take time with it. Adela then leads Joe was, and how she didn't wish for Kay to get tangled up with a jobless loser when she'd brought Topham, a rich man meat from England for her. It then turns to Smed when Bill mentions he be the 1 to speak to Kay about Topham, Adela getting annoyed by Bill giving Smed a hundy, and he having partied all night in L.A..

confirms her masseuse was waiting in her room, then with fiery eyes, lets him go. Phipps is shocked, he looking at Bill like, have you turned on me?, and Bill gazing back like, no, am surprised, too!, she then imploring Adela to not having actually meant to fire him, but she quite solid with her accusation of Phipps going through her room on the excuse of tracking a spider. The 2nd time he claims seeing a mouse, also warning him she'd fire him if he was caught again in her bedroom, and before going to her lecture, discovers him again, she leaving him standing there frozen. Bill questions him on what he'd been up to, he confessing Smed's idea affected him, and he'd been searching for the late Carmen Flores' diary (Jeezus H, Editor, it's late not last Carmen Flores, ya dip!).

Bill was going to suggest Phipps use a date rape drug she'd gotten from a bartender buddy on Adela so he'd be able to sneak without fear, but Kay comes in by window, and the chat halts. Kay brings up Bill's job of memoir-ing, which devolves to a story she'd come up with of a gal getting turned into a lobster, which all studio execs resemble, she asking if Phipps'd ever been turned into a lobster, Bill then sending him to ask the cook, this giving Bill opp. to broach the subj. of Kay getting close to Topham, even though he wasn't very smart. Phipps returns with the news of the cook also not ever having become a lobster, then relates of wishing to inform Adela of Joe being a new guest invited by Smed to stay a couple week, this surprising Kay. When Joe is announced, Kay doesn't give him as warm a welcome he though should be coming him, since Kay felt Adela wouldn't be happy, but Bill sets her straight with using her skills to calm Adela into allowing it.

Kay leaves to locate Smed, as Bill continues chatting to Joe, he revealing how Smed had agreed to fund them for their money req's for the writer agency, but Bill knew Smed was a tapped out source, and also had mistook Smed as Adela's hubby, which was another blow Bill blew wide open. Joe takes a needed breather in the garden with this blow, Adela walking in and viewing Joe leave, inquiring his ID, and after 1st being insufferably resistant, Bill turns her with the threat of old childhood tactics of collecting a handful of worms to put down the neck of Adela if she didn't allow Joe to stay, as well as put a pleasant face on along with it. Bill then calls Joe back in to intro them, as well as Topham, who comes in as they agreed on Joe's ewe lamb-ness. Topham leads Joe out upon Adela stating he should show him where his room was, since it was next door to him, Kay coming back to inform of Smed being nowhere to be found, and as Phipps enters with drinks, also supplies of Smed having been imprisoned.

No one spoke for awhile, Kay the 1st to confirm this headliner, Phipps agreeing, getting a phone call earlier. Adela was becoming less pleased with the idea as she imagines the news upset it'd be for herself. Phipps confesses not saying anything for promising Smed he wouldn't. Apparently, Smed'd stabbed a m.c. fella with an oyster fork at a Ventura Blvd. night club.

Adela perplexedly dismisses Phipps, then blasts Smed's character like silly. Phipps returns to update of Smed having returned, and Adela looking more steamed after dismissing Phipps again. Kay goes to check on Smed so Bill could lay into Adela to calm her down, getting shout-y in the process. Bill brings up all the pertinent points on how Adela enjoys having Smed in her power, etc, he then walking in with Kay.

Smed seems to have some drive in his step, Adela asking if he cared to say something, Bill interrupting with supportive words, Smed sharing the judge having given him a warning, and Adela seething over,  wanting his good reason for his naughtiness. Smed stands tall and starts by mentioning being visited by his guardian angel. Adela is now over it, but Bill urges she listen, Smed continuing, and Adela getting more reason to milk venom, Smed admitting he'd gone into her room and had located the diary, having it with him. Adela soon is insulting Smed, and the 2 start bickering, Joe walking through to get to the garden, but Bill stopping him with her statement of how many people were after it.

Smed already learned at least 1 person was willing to pay 50k for it, astounding Adela. Smed plans to have his mexican buddy, a gardner, translate it for him. Adela then asks nicely to see it since she'd learnt some Spanish, Smed falling for it, and she stating she'd lock it in a safe for safety, admitting this would be the 1st payment in Smed's back pay for living with her, also slamming Bill to change out of pants by calling her a "rag-picker". Smed is shriek-y mad, Bill not losing time or heart, ringing for reinforcement, knowing this was the perfect battle cry for Phipps' talent.

Unfortunately, Phipps wasn't ready, but Bill takes the reigns and when shock dies down, the group realizes how lucky they were; had Phipps not repeatedly decline. Bill finds his price though, and Phipps agrees to his 5k fee, everyone meeting at 1am. They're celebrating when Adela returns satisfied and yapping about Bill's dress, so she obliges by changing, Adela using the excuse of Mr. Glutz pulling up. Smed shows up 1st, surprised by how slowly it seems to take til the meeting time arrives.

Bill scares him with her loud and close greeting to the point of Smed biting his tongue, and whilst he was abuzz with apprehension, Bill felt wonderful. Joe joins them next, also a bit nerved, but his stemming from a sheltered existence, soon Smed leaves to see if Phipps was in his room, still. Bill disapproving lovingly. Joe asks Bill's opinion on if Kay's view of him might soar a bit if they succeeded on getting paid, Bill agreeing, and Kay coming in as Joe also starts getting paranoid by Phipps' absence.

As Bill distracts Joe with desc. of Kay's lovely features, Smed returns without Phipps and looks ready to melt when they hear something, and Bill notices 1st it's Phipps coming in by window. Everyone has a squirrely reaction as Phipps explains his delay being caused by Glutz who was interested in hiring him, for acting, Smed recovering composure as Bill and he chat, the man questioning why he'd been doing this so late at night, and Phipps relating how he wouldn't speak to Glutz whilst on duty, but also must bow out to their plan, as well. Smed makes a seen, since now he'd be screwed, but Phipps must think of his new career, the money small stacks, now he'd be in the biz. Smed couldn't take the new flippant attitude, but Bill suggests a hard drink, which helps, Phipps leaving to oblige.

Bill shares her plan to have Phipps have a drink with them, then test his ego into showing off his skills. Phipps returns with a load, and Bill attempts to convince Phipps to have a congratulatory drink with them. Which he accepts, and Bill makes a doozy, masked drink, Phipps drinking 2, after which buttering, then breaking Phipps, he getting snappy about his skill, and Bill getting agreement from Joe and Kay. Bill in the end goads Phipps back into doing it, Joe and Smed tagging along to watch, Bill asking Kay what the hell was going on with she and Joe when they were alone. Kay's response is to laugh, which Bill seriously states Joe's plain lurv for her, she bonding to his cause what with Smed and she.

Kay admits to having clarified her reason of why she wouldn't unite with Joe to him in NY, Bill finally wheedling Kay into confiding her suspicion of whether Joe was truly serious about marriage like she was, she then admitting despite love for Joe, she couldn't trust him, also due to his red book of numbers. As Kay is on her way out to slice sammies, Smed comes in complaining of Phipps sidetracking his project with stories. The man himself soon strolls in with his choice of bot, deciding it was time to lounge. Bill attempts to quiet Phipps along with Smed, when he decides he'd like to add singing to his raucous laughing and shouting tone.

Smed then, whilst on any other night would've changed his favor in seeing Phipps' next plan on giving Adela a much needed whack to the face, is high-pitched with his pleas to leave the hopefully sleep-filled lady alone. Phipps' attitude takes a downswing when he feels Smed isn't properly responding to his chat, which soon has Smed withdrawing in favor of making certain Adela was still where they wanted her. Meanwhile, Joe nearly gets Phipps in a bad mood again when Bill turns it around once more by reminding PHipps why they thought he couldn't open the safe. He responds by confessing and advising how Joe should be asking Kay to marry him, also conceding he was much too jokey about it, as had Kay, then before passing out, props his feets up on the sofa and goes to Bed(fordshire).

Bill takes Phipps sleepytime unphased, and instead focuses on making certain Joe heard Phipps regarding his onpoint advice, she relinquishing with her knowledge, and whilst she'd been right about Joe being humorous due to shyness, he was shocked by the bringing up of his little red book of numbers. Bill steadies with his response to being nowhere attached to the ladies in his book, and concludes of he making better headway by losing his stand-up comic act. Bill then makes Joe a likable character for Kay, and slips him the roofie she'd forgotten to use on Adela, and when he goes down, she with effort wakes Phipps. After giving Phipps the story of he and Joe having argued about a religion Phipps didn't even recognize, and it coming to blows, Phipps clocking Joe with a bot, Kay and Smed return, and Bill's story spreads, she collecting the sammies off Kay before the girl rushes to Joe's prostrate form on the carpet.

Bill samples her favorite sardine sammie as she notes of Phipps now being vibrant, Smed snapping him into doing his original task as he's apologizing to Kay, since she was looking at him with betrayal. As this happens, Joe is reviving, Smed and Phipps head to the projection room where the safe is, and Kay helps Joe bathe his head in the swimming pool. Joe is still marveling at Kay's turnaround as he's being led out when Adela and Topham enter, she quite awake, and he barely, dozing in a chair as soon as he sits. Smed's fact finding mission to see if Adela had slept through all had actually been sabotaged by his loud breathing outside her door.

Smed'd been puffing because of Phipps' drunken comment of how drunk he was, this waking Adela, who decides to investigate for burglars, and brings sleepy Topham as her muscle, and when seeing the variety of bottles in the Green Room, thinks it proof of thieves. When Topham is reawoken, he decides to share his dream, which was about the girl, Toots he'd left in Britain, but Adela shushes him, hearing Smed upstairs tripping over a chair on his way back down for another drink. Adela continues to reawaken Topham til the thief comes into the room, and she recognizes Smed, who is also shocked, he having no ready explanation, but being saved by Bill reentering and helping to waste more time til Adela has a meltdown, and the cops she'd called from her bedroom finally arrive via French window. Adela shows her displeasure by their tardiness, then orders Smed to show them the projection room, Bill coming to his pleading-eyes aid as she denies burglars being there, and female flightiness having taken hold of Adela.

Adela continues to attempt to waylay them successfully til she calls them Keystone Kops (Youtube them, Charlie Chaplin team up at one point), and they hear scratching coming from upstairs, Bill still able to distract with her interest in the 2 men's lives, it turning to how 1 of them had been passed over by Glutz' company. This goes on to the point of Adela giving up waiting and has Topham escort her back to her room whilst Bill again offers the men drinks and learns more about their acting dreams. Finally, Phipps comes in and is introed, he admits to having been the 1 in the projection room, which satisfies the cops. They leave and Smed gives Bill  her proper kudos, and as Kay and Joe return, properly engaged, Phipps declines to give the diary to Smed, and biffs off.

Smed is next accosted by his source of frustration as he's lounging on the terrace and being interrupted by Phipps with yoghurt, Joe and Kay coming up after him for wishing to try and reason with the snake in the grass. Nothing other than noting their displeasure toward Phipps occurs though, and after he withdraws, they know they must plan something, but no ideas come, yet. So, they locate Bill in the Garden Room dictating Adela's memoirs, and she decides the last straw'd be to see if Phipps had a better nature to reason to, ringing the bell. When Phipps comes in and Bill tests his flexible waters, it doesn't look good, but Bill keeps it civil and gets his opinion on which horse was a winner in the upcoming race before dismissing him.

Bill decides the futility of Phipps bending, he then coming back in to tell of Adela asking for Smed in the projection room, looking heaving of breath, again exiting as Smed tippy toes with anxiety, Bill soothing with words to deny everything, she then seeing Topham outside, and relates to the down Joe of how well off he was, this bringing some hope back. What no one yet notices, is how gloomy Topham was, the letter received from Toots, not a good one. So, when Bill regards Phipps' entrance with distaste as he announces the given name of "Toots" being on the line for Topham, he dashes out quick as the dickens. Bill has Phipps go fetch drinks whilst also learning of his ma not being a sort to teach about sharing is caring, nor to turn away from crime, she sharing to the others of hopefully seeing a positive change in Topham when he returned.

They do, Topham ready to hear Bill's pitch, which consists of explaining the easy life of a literary agent. As Topham agrees this sounds like one sweet set up, he asks for a hundy due to his funds being hung up in Britain, so Bill does the good deed of lending him the cash, which he is immediately off to gamble on the horsies. Bill has admitted ultimate defeat, Joe agreeing, Smedley then returning which Bill is eager to hear of the more important haps. He tells of Adela's pure rage and stubborn belief they all had the diary, despite Smed following Bill's advice to deny unabashedly.

Bill coaxes Smed to continue when he stops his relayment upon seeing Phipps with the juice of the gods, but in the conclusion states of Adela having again called the cops, Bill ready to handle them. She spells out the deets to Phipps of they denying of knowing anything about why Phipps had stolen the diary when the cops came back, since Phipps had planned to say Smed had requested him to take it, is essence Phipps being unable to keep denying Smed the releasing of the diary, bequeathing of the item on a tray to him, and Bill magnanimously still allowing Phipps his cut, and so Smed ready to biff off and have the gardner buddy to translate it. Before he leaves though, Bill goes over the cash he'd be spreading around if the deal was still on, this pausing him rightly esp. after the 20k to Bill and Joe, not remembering the drunken agreement, and swiftly backing out of it with his own plans of getting back into being a producer of plays in NY, then going off to do his business. After a second of frozen bodies, Kay and Joe try to stop him, to no avail, Bill stopping dictation only when Adela comes in.

Adela is incensed and gives Bill the ultimatum to hand over the diary or the cops would do their duty, but Bill lays down the real deets, since Adela was actually responsible for the diary being stolen under her care, so if Smed took her to court, he was willing to only have her pay out 30k, which any jury would vote in favor of, Adela slowly recognizing Bill's story seeming probable. Adela decides to write the check, which Bill smartly has her make out to herself as Smed's agent, and when she withdraws and Joe and Kay come back, she eases their down faces for Smed not having been swayed. When the 2 cops are shown in again, their entertainment career paths had been reopened, both quite pleased, and Adela returning with Bill's check. She again must share of Adela's mistaken assumption of the robbed safe, and Adela leaves, denying the request for an autograph. Bill surprises Joe with the amount of the check and asks him for Smed's whereabouts.

Bill tracks him to down the street where he'd exited the premises and walks back toward Bill with a spring in his step, despite the gardner not being on duty today. This spring loses sprightliness when the 2 are met by Phipps in a car, he leaving at the behest of Adela, and tricks Smed into handing the diary to him on the pretense of having tricked him with a fake, but drives off after noting it was the original afterall, Smed quite pissed. Bill gives him a bit of shit for having trusted a man like Phipps, but turns it into a marriage proposal again, since Smed was begging to be cared for, this time with the knowledge of the check she'd scored, as well, and how great men on the level of kings and emperors had repeatedly tread the aisle, Smed warming to the idea of the literary agency, as well. The 2 seal it with a kiss and go on the hunt for a priest. Cute, but Wooster and Jeeves still knocks these stories down some pegs. I'll still be giving the other stories plenty of chances, though! So much more to come!