Life at Blandings
by P.G. Wodehouse
Something Fresh - Ashe, who is about to jump rope down the London street for exercise, must hold his breath for the possible derision which surely awaits his healthy optimism. Today he is met with none, but the past dictated quite a random crowd, including laughing cat; the drunk cabbie calls him Bill Bailey, and they all laugh at him. It takes a few months for the dust to settle from his skipping, he now pondering his place in the world, and feeling the rut. What makes this worse is when he hears the surprising laugh, this taking the steam from his exercise wind, so he goes back inside, huffily eating his provided breakies from his inn.
The next visit he gets is unexpectedly the girl who had laughed, he struggling to create a story from an imaginative title he'd created the night before. As he attempts to reverse his angry vibes, she's apologizing for laughing, he segueing into what her thoughts were on defining a "wand of death". After confusing her with this, he laughs, and it breaks the tension, they next learning they were both with the same publisher, so start chatting chummily. After she leaves to begin her own tale about a Duke, Ashe is revived, but deflates with the job opps in the paper, so turns his attention back to his title.
Freddie Threepwood is planning a lunch party when he's reminded of an annoying task, which requires him to call Dickie to be sure he'd meet up at noon, to hear some important news, and after hanging up, is interrupted by his pop, the Earl of Emsworth, who tends to get irked by Freddie's choices, due to his being redundant as a 2nd son. Freddie is currently serving an idyllic light house arrest from London, for having fuck ups for buddies, and doing general mischief to get him kicked out of college a couple times. He'd remained at Blandings for nearly a year since, and when he remembers how at least Freddie is currently engaged to the rich American neighbor's daughter, Aline, it cheers him, til Freddie is getting dressed and tells of having a friend over, this damping Emsworth's mood. Freddie clears up the bad vibes with it not being one of his crowd, but a fella who knew Aline, and is a cop or what not.
Emsworth decides to allow it, for still being chipper, the 2 exiting and parting as Freddie got breakies and Emsworth kept busy til noon. Meanwhile, R. "Dickie" Jones is intro'd as being an interest to Scotland Yard, but being 1 who made certain to keep proof on him low. He is an enormously fat man who doesn't appreciate being tapped on the shoulder, and is in his early 50s. RJ also attracts young men to the point of getting 100s of pounds a month for their charity, and Freddie falling for his shit, for making himself out to be a philosopher confidant, which has his boys taking care of their outing bills, most like.
So, Freddie shares of how he is raising money and how his buddy Percy who was in court having had a love letter problem which Freddie could relate with, since he'd written horrifying letters to a girl who'd never agree to meet with him. Now his engagement was out, though she could pull his name through the mud, so he hopes for RJ's help to get the letters back for him. With the 500 bucks stipend, RJ feels inclined to at least make a go of it, which Freddie is relieved by. After leaving RJ isn't too concerned with the background noise of the task attached to the cash, since he'd got the cash currently in his fatty hands.
This is as far as I'll go for this story, I'm completely uninterested for the repetitive storyline, and the fact I read it with more loved characters than these tossaways. So, I'll only read the best of the 3 from this one, and I'll most likely be employing the same tactic with the remainder of what I have of Wodehouse's Blandings series. Summer Lightning - The preface notes having regarded how his previous novel has same characters under different names, so went back to using his beloved characters as response, due to also loving Blandings as a backdrop and atmosphere. Beach the butler is lounging when interrupted by secretary Hugo scaring him from a bush to offer a task worth a quid, so Beach accepts.
All he had to do is deliver a note to Millicent without Lady Constance catching wind. After pocketing his payment, Beach shares of Constance having gone away on errand, so Hugo feels silly, but relieved. Hugo used to have a business with Emsworth's nephew, Ronald Fish, but it'd failed, so now he is acting as secretary for Emsworth. Hugo next shares of Ronnie coming to Blandings in a couple days, as Beach takes out an article regarding Galahad for the Blandings fam album.
The article tells of Galahad being at Blandings and writing his memoir. Before parting, Hugo decides to withdraw his note in favor of Beach letting Millicent know where he could be found and when. Emsworth is outside noticing the quiet setting up of tea in the garden, he announcing this to Millicent, who could see this already, he acting like a stately dog bumbling about definitely getting biscuits. As Millicent is setting her tea, she makes small chat about Constance going after the old secretary Baxter, Emsworth traumatized by the possibility, and then disappointed when Constance walks up. She'd missed her train because of Galahad keeping her up talking.
Galahad himself next comes walking in with a w&s, tripping over the spaniel, but recovering gracefully enough to not spill his drink, and allow the dog an apologetic sniff at it. When he sees the tea set up, and Millicent offers her unc a cup, he advises she be careful with the stuff, due to an off-the-wall story regarding a guy dying after buying some. This is the sort of fare they should expect from his book, since this anecdote is in it, and when he leaves, Constance worries how they'll stop him from publishing, wishing Baxter could help. Emsworth maintains Baxter is a nutball, which flusters Constance, esp when Emsworth confides Galahad is putting his side of the story in his book.
This has Galahad lobbing flower pots at Emsworth's windows because he's a nutter, and no mention of it regarding Constance's missing necklace being hidden in 1, and Baxter'd been locked out, on top of it. Emsworth bows out to the Empress after this share, Millicent and Constance having a chat about Hugo which enlightens Milli to his dating a chorus girl, so she takes a stroll to the garden. Hugo's waiting per his verbal date, he surprised by her chilly demeanor, he next having to explain the chorus girl is a sisterly type, and before Milli came along. To cap the night, Constance is penning a letter to Baxter.
Mortimer, a partner owning a theater speaks with a girl, Sue who is a dancer and attached to Ronnie, she telling Mort of Galahad being at Blandings, and she offering her place in the company to a girl in need, she afterward meeting Ronnie down at his car. Meanwhile, Ronnie chats to the doorman who gives a bouquet to him for Sue, he learning it is from a Pilbeam. It doesn't take long on their ride before Ronnie gets into it, Sue having to placate the sensitive child on his insecurities about his height and imagined suitors. After she quells his paranoia, he happily relates the ladies of Blandings per her request, and after listens to him ease her mind about being there and missing her.
On a whim, he decides to take her for tea at his place, he running into Constance on her way out for tea, and on the fly, says Sue is Miss Schoonmaker, so on the road, Sue instructs Ronnie to wire the real Schoonmaker to tell her not to come signed by Constance, since now Ronnie would have to get Unc Emsworth to give his trust a bit quicker. Ronnie's walking about the grounds later, when he sees a camper, Baxter coming out, and requests he let Constance know he is here, Ronnie giving the A-ok, and thinking how Emsworth would take this news. Welp, he takes it as he at first believes he's seeing Baxter's ghost enter the house, stating this to constance right before he's introed by Beach. This decides Emsworth to go off and see the Empress after Constance invites Baxter to stay.
Constance and Baxter chat of Galahad and his book, Baxter able to deduce quickly of her wish of wanting the manuscript destroyed, she impressed. Ronnie meanwhile, wanders to the Empress' pen as she's taking lunch, he using her back to bounce a tennis ball, and this helping him lightbulb a plan. Upon execution though, it doesn't take, since Emsworth had seen Ronnie bouncing his ball, so slams his pig farm idea down. Ronnie finds a new inspiration from the idea Galahad poses of Emsworth's pig rival going so far as to kidnap her, Ronnie deciding to try and do it, and get help from an inspired backup to Hugo, since he had a big mouth.
Ronnie looks in on Beach in the pantry to see if he'd help him with his illegal venture, Beach sputteringly turning him down til being offered a tip on an upcoming race, Ronnie getting his Beach to feed the Empress. Next morning, Ronnie is up quite easily with the sun for remembering his fantastical plan, he having to play surprise when Hugo enters with the news of the Empress missing, and having been sent for a detective. This perturbs Ronnie a bit, and he becomes miffed when learning Hugo was responsible for the idea. So, Ronnie decides after chatting with Milli, he'd go to town after lunch, and be reassured by Sue once more, since Milli'd heard Sue and Hugo were a thing.
Pilbeam is sitting in his office when he reads the mysterious telegram regarding a big robbery, and is irked about Sue's quietly accepting his woo pitches with no return correspondence. His secretary leads in Hugo, who is in quite fine humor, he acknowledging the note Pilbeam shows him as probably being from Emsworth. Hugo then makes clear it's a pig robbery, not a big one. Pilbeam immediately becomes unintrigued, and Hugo makes a call to locate a good dance club restaurant, and then to Sue to invite her out, she guilty for wanting to go, if not only to chat of Ronnie, so accepts. Hugo leaves and Pilbeam is satisfied by learning Sue's addy.
Hugo and Sue go to the nightclub and dance, he soon revealing he also is engaged, to Milli. When Hugo leaves to call the little deary and exclude his club date, Pilbeam swoops in and intros himself to Sue, as Ronnie scans the club for her. After spotting her, and approaching, he isn't angered til he realizes it's not Hugo she's with. Well, this is enough to get Ronnie to elbow the persistent waiter telling him he needed to go to the balcony, due to dress code, after Sue'd intro'd Pilbeam to him. This leads into a massive throwdown between Ronnie and a handful more waiters til the bouncer steps in, followed by a cop.
When Hugo returns to the broken up scene, he asks Sue the haps, he agreeing to leave with her as bid, and wanting the intriguing update after. Ronnie goes to court and pays his fine, Hugo seeing the brightside on their ride back. When Ronnie gets to the club, he biffs off quickly when he sees Sue, so she and Hugo enter and chat on her wish to explain to Ronnie what he'd confused, but not before poor Hugo also gets the kick from Milli. Hugo explains Pilbeam is to blame, again his wish to dispatch him great.
Sue finally is able to share her plan which Ronnie'd started, but now the goal being her ability to make it right between Ronnie and she, so Milli has no reason not to take back Hugo, he all kinds of onboard. Emsworth isn't impressed with the sunlight, and looks gaunt with depression when his bro Gally walks in, Ems expecting derision and getting sweet empathy, instead. When he confides having attempted to get a detective and failing, Gally is glad since he knew the culprit of the missing Empress. When Gally suggests Parsloe though, Ems isn't convinced, due to his titles.
Gally lists Parsloe's many transgressions which he knew for having spent much time with him when they were young, knowing a man doesn't change so drastically only in the name of a baronetcy. It does the job to the point of Ems agreeing to go and accuse the fella directs, Gally volunteering to tag along. Parsloe reads the same blurb on Gally being at Blandings and why, his reaction being to shudder, since he knew Gally had all his dirty years at close hand. So, when Gally and Ems are shown in, he's a bit surprised.
Gally wastes no time in accusing Parsloe of pig theft, the man denying it profusely, so Gally threatens to put in everything he could remember about young Parsloe unless he gave up Empress. When Parsloe sticks to his story Gally decides he and Ems would leave him to figure it out til noon. So, Parsloe goes to Pilbeam's agency to have him steal Gally's manuscript. Pilbeam has no interest til Parsloe offers 500, and realizes he had the perfect way to implement it being to accept Ems case of the missing Empress.
Parsloe is properly impressed with Pilbeam, now and agrees to invite Gally for dindin. Gally completes his anecdote of the prawns for his book, puts it away, then being struck by how odd Milli, Beach, and Hugo were acting, Milli breaking it off with Hugo, whilst Hugo keeps jumping at things. Later, Ems is pitched the idea to steal Parsloe's piggy in trade for Empress, they leaving it in Baxter's camper during the dark hours. As for Beach, he readies for Sue's arrival. Beach and Baxter are completely taken by Sue's happy demeanor, style, and face. She meets Gally, and Milli which makes her nervous, but accepts Gally's offer to see the roses to get away from what seemed like Baxter's suspicious eyes, which were actually budding love.
Blandings Castle is known for its luscious rose garden, Gally taking a little over a handful of mins to tour through. Gally then passes Sue off to Emsworth, who is soon distracted by seeing Baxter. Baxter makes an excuse before leaving, and then hears Emsworth call him a nutter, the man thinking himself quiet. Beach then tells Gally's guest arriving, he leaving, Sue getting a letter from Baxter explaining his fall, and then Gally returns. He starts setting up qs which Sue doesn't know how to answer, he calling her out.
Sue comes clean and Gally gives her mad kudos, with the exception of loving his nephew, Ronnie. He lets this go though, as Emsworth comes back with Pilbeam. Before Gally leaves, he decides he'll let Sue read his manuscript, and would leave it at her room, Sue next regarding Pilbeam, who was staring. The 2 chat, and Pilbeam tries to make her give the book to him by giving her 50 bucks, she not biting, and says she'd tell everyone he'd written the insulting article about Gally if he outed her. So, the 2 are at stalemate, and Milli comes in, Emsworth calling Pilbeam to his library.
Milli sadly announces her engagement to Ronnie, shocking Sue. Milli leaves, and Hugo confirms the news, following like a puppy dog after her. Baxter next chats with Constance of his deduction of Beach having something to do with the missing Empress, as well as Carmody. Baxter afterward follows Beach to prove his theory.
Meanwhile, Hugo is worrying about Milli's engagement, when she comes in at him confessing of having gotten scared by what she'd thought was a man speaking in German, but turns out being the Empress. Hugo decides he'll wait upstairs for whoever comes to feed the darling soul, Milli tagging. They talk it out, and then see Beach feed Empress. The 2 confront him, and accuse him of taking Empress, he agreeing to the blame, and saying it was for Milli. When he imparts how this could aid Emsworth into okaying their marriage, the 2 marvel at the man.
Hugo and Milli next decide a better hiding spot for Empress, leaving Beach out of it for not wanting the stress nor looks from Baxter. Beach leaves in high spirits, so even when he's told Emsworth wants him, and Baxter had an accusation, Beach takes it in stride, and then readily agrees to go have a look where Baxter supposedly saw him feed Empress. Emsworth arms himself with a walking stick in case Baxter goes potty. Ronnie is unaffected by the change of rainy weather, his mood staying bleak since now he'd gotten Milli, is changing his mind on marrying her.
Fortunately, when Hugo interrupts his moroseness, he gives him the gift from heaven above, Milli calling off their engagement in pref. of Hugo, this putting the spring back in his cock. Hugo shares of hoping to run into Pilbeam, which Ronnie shares, he being the lucky one by seeing Pilbeam exit as he is from his own room next door. Pilbeam senses danger, so quickly returns to his room, Ronnie opening his door to see Pilbeam had vanished. Ronnie soon hears Pilbeam locking a cupboard, so spends some time coaxing Pilbeam out, he obliging only after sharing of Sue being at Blandings to work it out with Ronnie, he exiting to chat with her.
Pilbeam goes down for food, and comes to an empty dining hall, Beach getting him sloshed so he ends up revealing what he knew of Empress and who Sue is identity thieving. Hugo's revving up for a showdown, when Pilbeam spouts of knowing Hugo had committed pig theft, this revelation affecting Hugo's balance. Pilbeam exits for dinner, and falls down stairs, but not hurting himself to Hugo's chagrin. When Baxter is made fool of after showing everyone how he was wrong about Empress' whereabouts, he festers with rage over how Sue must have looked down on him before his healing letter found her.
Baxter picks up a call from the post office which proved she was a charlatan, he going off to Sue's room to reclaim his letter, which doesn't happen since he needs must hide under the bed for seeing her on the balcony and food coming to her room. He is annoyed how this woman doesn't know how to leave a room when dinner bells are gonged. Beach is collecting Gally's book from the balcony when Ronnie enters. Hugo meanwhile, is still recovering from his shock at being outed, when he came out of his statuesque posture, and calls Milli to the phone in the midst of soup. She settles his fear by suggesting they tell Ems of the 2 locating Empress, and her plan works, he agreeing to allow them to marry.
Hugo prepares to pick her up on her walk from Parsloe's. Back with Sue and Ronnie, he's groveling for being a schmuck and she taking on blame as well, which he denies her the pleasure of placing any responsibility upon herself. Baxter is sickened by hearing the drivel, fortunately Beach interrupting from the balcony, and sharing of Pilbeam moving Empress. As Constance, Ems, and Gally are returning, the 3 keeping quiet for being overheard by the driver, this silent task weighs heaviest on Constance, since she carries a womb.
They see Baxter climbing to the balcony, Ems going to Sue's room with Gally's gun, and seeing Baxter under the bed as Constance joins the club. Baxter attempts to reveal all the culprits to Empress' vanishing act, but seems nuts. Ronnie comes clean after he leaves and states of Sue's true ID, she snub-nosing of her chorus girl status, until Gally declares he'd withdraw his book for publication upon realizing he'd been lovestruck by her ma for a few years, this giving her all clear to saddle up with the bipolar tard. If it isn't plain, I've reached my cap of Mr. Sir. It wasn't as apparent to me from the best of Jeeves and Wooster, but may have come more highlighted with the less than stellar story of the racism, which there truly isn't much of, but coupled with the sexism, I'm over it, now. Was fun whilst it lasted, but I'm all good on this boy.
