Hellboy: Odd Jobs
By Mike Mignola
14 stories by different authors, and 1 from Mignola
Medusa's Revenge starts with HB yearning to have Anastasia be there with him to see the view of the hills and sea looking so idyllic as fishermen work below him. Soon he spots a rock horse barrelling toward him, which makes him curious of why it is heading for him. He's able to juke him after falling off his cliff-perch, the horse falling after him, but continuing all the way down and crashing on the rocks. HB is there to investigate the rock animal's which had connection to some fool locating the Shield of Athena which trapped the head of Medusa, somewhere in this village, so he walks down.
HB follows the stone bodies strewn about the village, then goes to the highest volume at the church and tugging at the door, remembering to be careful before glancing inside. He rushes in, but nothing happens, his arm covering his eyes falling as he sees Medusa's stone soldiers coming for him. After smashing them for a bit, and getting irritated, Medusa calls them off. HB tries to smash the podium where he thinks she's speaking to him, but ends up getting eye-locked with her for a statue mostly broken housing the shield.
Whilst HB can't move, he could still look on as she speaks of having been considering him ruling with her. She goes on to mention how she'd helped free herself with 1 of her stone statues, as HB realizes he could still move his eyes. Medusa's chatty Kathy-ing up a storm as HB works on spreading the movement throughout his bod, she talking of using him to get her bod back once he'd solidified, and she could control him. HB makes a move which Medusa's shield moves to avoid, he missing the aim for her face.
HB slowly walks closer to her, and a snake coils over him, so he uses his stone hand to wack-a-mole it. It subdues it enough for HB to refocus attempting to smash Medusa's head and skin shield she was imprisoned on. What does it is stamping on top of the shield, and then driving a cross through her forehead. HB has to wait a few days for the stone skin to fall off, and what's worse is anyone turned to stone, is still becoming flesh, and so people's parts were getting tortured with their reanimation, so the town had to mercy kill all except the now crazy Paras, who dreams of snakes, and believed he'd only been sleeping, not remembering getting turned to stone.
Jigsaw opens with Guy and Francine, a handful of years in love and living together, the 2 working at a hospice. A dream where HB is dead and about to be sawn into, the man above him stating he'd tell him of his pop, this waking him, and Abe asking if he'd seen more this time. HB draws as much of the symbol he could recollect, then settles back down with a video of an eye surgery. Guy is buddies with an older of his patients, Thomas, the 2 chat of his 2nd job and plan of bringing something back for him.
HB chats to Liz of the 2 having to stay in Paris longer, and BPRD having sent Kate to meet them, since his drawing had sparked a 6th sense for her. Meanwhile, Guy is working at his 2nd job preparing to clean a room at the medicine facility. His large project began with a jar breaking and scattering dead ocean specimens, he cleaning up this new mess. He unwittingly starts fitting together flesh pieces, and soon recognizes the form of a nose.
The other half is the part of the head, he becoming more disturbed when the marble eye shows signs of life. Guy calms down enough to think it is a learning tool, up until he puts the mouth together, and it speaks of making him a king if he completes his form. He goes back to being unnerved and covers it with a cloth and keeps the pieces in a manila envelope, finishing his work and going home. Unfortunately, Francine is still up, but he worries unnecessarily of having to explain what happened, since she confesses fo Thomas having passed away.
HB and Abe go to a restaurant to meet Kate and they get straight into HB's dreams. Meanwhile, the next morning for Guy, he quits the hospice, and their mann uses him as an example for what not to do: Get attached. Francine is affected by Guy's lack of love for the hospice, now. Guy also continues to stay silent about what he'd seen at the medical facility. Guy doesn't speak with her for a week, both of them working and not seeing each other til Sunday, after fucking, he breaking down, and chatting of Thomas.
He has avoided cleaning the room for a week, his manny urging him to make more progress, and eventually, he's back and ignoring the cloth he'd put it under, but not for long, he soon listening to all the promises it rasped. Soon, he's letting the head suckle at his nip... He requires 2 bandaids to cover the ouchies the head had made, but on his path he discovers franc notes accumulating to 260 franc notes, he deciding to treat her, and tell her how he'd discovered them the next day. Back with Kate, she finishes showing a slide regarding a man called Moro, from 1650.
He'd done some horrible things to kids and parents to get power, and when eventually quartered, his head still spoke of deals to whoever put him together. So, the 2 thought HB's dreams meant they were getting close, or in HB's opinion, he was going nuts. Meanwhile, Francine worries over Guy's unexplained injuries, he becoming resistant to revealing anything more than the medical facility doc had bandaged him, which she doesn't believe. When he leaves again, she's emptying his pockets for laundry, and finds the bills, he appearing and explaining how he'd discovered them, but angrily leaves when she thinks he'd been kidding to make up for both of their moods lately.
When Guy gets to work, the head no longer wishes to suckle his withered nips, but a little ding dong lower. Early in the morning, Liz calls HB to tell of Kate wanting to meet up with them at the medical facility later. Francine returns to the apt after she sees Guy leave, this a week later, and she having left him, returning to collect her belongings, which she sees clumped on top of a shelf. Francine takes what's hers quickly, and sadly, leaving due to the horrible stink.
At work, Guy is surprised by the manny being there, then seeing he's escorting guests, 1 of which looks evil, he knowing he had to get the head out, but they blocking the library. In order to oblige his manny and misdirect the trio, he admits to knowing of the head, pretending it was on a high shelf, and pushing it on to Abe, Kate, and the manny, whilst dashing by them. HB learns where Guy lives from the traumatized manny as Kate helps Abe clean himself from the formaldehyde which had soaked into his scarf and was suffocating him. Guy makes it on the bus and gets comforted by the hungering head.
HB catches up with them at Guy's apt as he's getting sucked off, the head offering to tell HB of his pop, which has him get punted against the wall. He doesn't stop there though, making sure to grind the pieces under his hooves, this driving Guy up-the-wall mad, as he slams his own face and shatters his ears in attempt of absorbing anything of the head. Guy is visited by Francine at his hospital, no one knowing his real name, and only knowing him as Puzzle, he now only happy during summer weather, and counting on his fingers. His only comfort is Francine, who comes when she pleases day or night.
A Mother Cries at Midnight has HB meeting Rob Oppenheimer, who gets a message from Jamie, an old buddy of Trevor's, wanting help locating his missing son. When HB sees Jamie speak of how the authorities had ended their search due to it having been a week and believed a 7 yr old wouldn't last the cold nights, HB has him start slow. He tells of how his hubby'd died recently by car, and the military had provided with a nanny, but Malcolm was taking it hard. The Zuni lady, Dona had allowed Malc out, he liking to explore.
HB reminisces of when he was young and living in NM, and meeting La Llorona. He'd wandered to a river 1 night, and meets her there, mourning. He tries to save her when she throws herself in the water, and the current takes him. He is able to successfully get her and himself back to still water, though.
La Llorona vanishes when he goes to grab his coat to place on her, and is told who he'd met by a preacher. He shares with HB and Trevor of the La Llorona story where her hubby leaves her, and her fam shuns her, so she chucks her baby in the river, then goes in after realizing her actions. So, Dona sees Malc at the river looking dopey and talking of a pretty lady, so she warns him to stay away from the river at night, but ofc he goes back. He tricks her by agreeing to stay in, then leaves out his window.
After the cops dredge the river, they give up, so now HB has a chance to discover Malc. He goes to where he thinks La Llorona will meet him, being right, and asking to see Malc, she leading him into the woods, where the boy lay with a broken leg, so HB carries him back. Unfortunately, Malc dies as HB hopes a car will stop so he could get him to a hospital. HB sheds a tear for Malc as he wonder who'd mourn for him, La Llorona starting to wail from the woods.
Delivered is a 1st person of how HB sees himself as a world citizen, but feels Ameri., whilst technically British. His favorite spot in the U.S. is NY, since they deliver anything day or night. This time he is heading for part he hadn't been to, Alphabet City. He goes on to mention why he liked his gun was due to it having been a gift, so is mad when he'd lost it. HB retells the time being in Central Park, and sitting to eat a hot dog, when he notices a big, black mother of a rat waiting for his crumbs.
When he notices 15+ rats starting, he gives up the leftovers before walking away, but then notices his gun is missing. So, HB chats up the homeless and gets an addy related to all the rats and how some of the homeless had gone missing after being seen around the same number HB'd seen. The addy is in a run down building, and the apt is mega-filled, cluttered. The fella calls HB to come into the back living room, and he's facing a 6ft rat wanting to shake hands.
HB plays nice, and sits in the offered seat, Mick the Rat confirming he had his gun, in a very NY-style, and would return it, but before wished to look at his hand and have a chat, HB still obliging. Mick next confides of some of his so-called junk were items BPRD'd be intrigued by, like an old ass book, which HB admits they'd want. Before giving HB's gun, Mick wants a deal for his employees to get insurance, full package. So, HB agrees, even getting another occult text out of the deal, and when he sits on the bench to wait for his train, he says hey to a similar looking rat from Central Park, and could swear it had winked at him. NY.
Folie Á Deux '67 in Japan, it's the season for monsoons, and HB is at a hospital treating US military, and meeting a psychiatrist, whilst intimidating many soldiers on his walk. The doc immediately gets into how he had to decide whether soldiers were faking their shellshock. He shares of how 2 of his patients who didn't seem to know 1 another had the same story of a demon coming from the ocean or jungle and killing all their buddies, and both were found alone with no bodies. HB's able to hear 1 of the young men's explanation before getting hysterical, he not able to see the 2nd man before he had to leave, since the other guy also had to be sedated for becoming too excited.
HB's next locale is in a burnt village deep in the jungle, he coming up on an old man mourning, then a group of soldiers walking up and debating how much trouble they were planning to make with the man, who gets HB's attention when speaking an "evil" language no human would know. The old man's prayers seem to get answered as the weather changes, and soldiers burst into flames. As HB watches the carnage, he greets the crying demon, addressing him as grandfather.
The demon can't or won't stop as the old man continues urging the destruction, which soon is aimed at HB, so he breaks the man's neck, and the man's rage surges 1 last flame ball to go through the jungle, all hidden soldiers from all sides getting hit. HB afterward returns to chat with the psychiatrist, and he updates of the soldier he'd spoken with was sent back to Vietnam, and the other he hadn't got a chance to chat with, had killed himself and his whole team. HB leaves agreeing with a fresh, young patient of stopping the madness.
Demon Politics has HB chatting with a senator Lipton, 1 of the men present n his birthday. Now, Lipton is in his 80s and hasn't quite made his point before his assistant had to help him move to his next meeting. HB knew he'd discover the weird source, since he senses something. HB has his own secrets ofc, like the life before coming to Erf, it including fire and pain, and he knew he'd eventually fight the master of the flames.
As HB walks with Lipton down the hall, he reminisces on when Lipton had been gifted his lion-headed cane, in France many years past. When they reach the boardroom, there's over a dozen reps of bureaus and depts arguing each other and now about whether HB should sit in, but Lipton insists, and the discussion is opened regarding all the growing upheaval between gov't parties and orgs not working well enough together. So, HB sets back to listen to everyone's experiences with the weird destructive happenings. HB has looked up to Lipton like an unc as a youngster, and he is like a superhero, helping him learn his strength and recognizing where his anger stems.
Now, HB is here to help Lipton fight a new war. HB is getting an impression of what the issue is, but decides to draw out more examples before posing it. It leads to 1 of HB's main opposers, Shorter, to end the meeting after HB had made 1 suggestion. When the others also give up, HB attempts getting the resistant sen.
Shorter to halt and answer a q for him, the man bristling, and walking out as HB follows. A group gathers to watch, and HB mentions Shorter has been possessed. Shorter starts showing signs of the demon cloud, other possessed people following suit for the call to attack. In the end, HB smashes the infestation of demons in the hall, Lipton not making it for having expelled one, and being too weak to recover. HB next goal is to continue raiding the demons out of each gov't building.
A Grim Fairy Tale has Liz interrupting HB's 2nd cup of coffee with tabloid news. A dozen missing upper mid-class kids under 6 yrs old being kidnapped, and HB next meeting the mayor to discuss the tactics BPRD has taken, so far. As for clarifying the ID of what was taking the kids, and whether they were still even alive to be saved, was slim, but HB is on it. BPRD with HB stake out Central Park, each agent assigned to a sector. (Ok, I love how this story gives the now more rare idea of a parent watching their kids play in preference of being on their cells, being inconsequential to HB due to the culprit being magical. It certainly doesn't say much for HB's p.o.v. on how he felt parents should react. Pff ha!) After a couple hrs, HB spots the kidnapper, a fairy.
Instead of going in and waging combat, he follows the fairy instead, walkying in his plan to Trevor. HB follows the trio to the subway, the fairy too involved in keeping up its glamour, as well as keeping the kids subdued. HB tracks them to Alphabet City, and into a shitty building, not waiting for back up. Inside, it looks like shit, plus ethereal fairy webbing, which HB can see the dozen kids bound above him, as well as a dying random commuter. (Another bad sign is when an author uses "hope against hope", welcome Collins, you may join Rowling, ugh.)
Pixies burst from dead commuter's orifices, and HB smashes most of them with his fist before catching a falling boy, and the 2 falling through the floor. The fairy goes after him, HB chucking the fairy in the incinerator, and uses a bomb to get it going, Liz arriving to quell the flames before the little boy could get any more traumatized, he handing him over to the paramedics, and HB walking out to the street. Trevor greets him with an "espresso coffee", which is an Americano, and the little girl thanks HB by likening him to the beast in Beauty and the Beast.
Scared Crows takes place in Maine in Oct, HB driving to a bar parking lot, and going inside where the owner knew him, and the 3 other custs stared with varying interest. Lorraine, the only chick asks about HB to the bartender, and HB overhears, she using this as her invite to chat him up. HB obliges her chat despite waiting for someone in relation to the cooler he carries. Finally, after a pitcher, HB opens up about how a year ago, a buddy had died, and a serial killer in connection had killed about 9 young ladies and girls before getting killed himself.
This starts more killing, except now it is beheadings by barbed wire. HB continues about how Red Shirt, the only Native American involved, and the Finn get called in to help him discover what had occurred to the serial killer. This is when the only other guests get bounced, since 1 of the bros can't stop being a loudmouth. HB goes outside for a mo, and Lorr struggles to not open the cooler.
HB returns and continues his tale of the killer's soul going into a scarecrow, the Finn walking in and saying the bros outside laying in the parking lot had let him know HB had arrived. The 2 continue to share the story with Lorr of the scarecrow they'd discovered there being different, and is now full of human parts rather than straw. Red Shirt notes of the tracks near the pond having some old ones going in and fresh ones coming out, HB taking a pee break, and Finn taking over temporarily before HB returns and continues, since Finn stole credit from HB. Red Shirt is following the tracks around the smallish pond when Finn goes to fetch light implements and HB is attacked by the serial killer.
Red Shirt's on his way back as Finn returns and helps HB after he'd toppled in the pond, the 2 arguing whether HB was actually drowning as Red Shirt gets his head popped off by the killer. HB gives chase and returns the favor by getting a flare, attaching it to the barbed wire, and using it on him, successfully burning the scarecrow, and seeing what he thought was the killer's soul leaving by crows carrying it. When Lorr qs whether HB is certain Red Shirt is truly dead, he pounds his fist on the table, and the cooler opens, a face being seen. Lorr backs up, and HB shares of the head being a couple K yrs old, she accepting another round to Red Shirt when HB offers after she's about to head out.
Where Their Fire is Not Quenched, HB watches as trees sway and fall, he also seeing ashes of a church, and inside it is a fallen cross, sticking end up in the air. HB 's next destination has him driving to a church group in N.C., so knew, but isn't comforted in being correct of his welcome being far from warm, the 1st lady dropping and praying feverishly. After an unfruitful chat with the preacher, HB leaves and goes to the only witness's house, he setting on the porch, HB introing himself, and asking for his story. The man relates of in 1 mo, the place was alight in fire, no explosion.
When HB confirms he wouldn't be sharing anything with the cops, the witness continues of seeing another car leave. HB next goes to visit the 2nd witness, checking his shed, and discovering no flammables. When he sees the front door ajar, he senses he's alone, and notes old multiple language-types of books on more than Christian religion are on his shelves. Upon glancing in a few, he becomes more intrigued by Jack Mooney, who then drives up, HB leaving, and deciding to track him.
HB comes back later with his car and follows Jack to a new church, the man starting a spell, and HB interrupting. Jack offers to show HB the atrocities of the church, and by holding his hand, HB receives an immersive view of what church members and leader were doing. After, Jack believes he's made his point clear, but HB states he'd still be stopping him, but the preacher pops up, he looking more demonic. HB tries a punch, but it doesn't get a reaction, Jack suggesting HB aim himself out a window, taking the advice, and getting more propelled by flame. Later on when the cops have arrived, HB sees the preacher of the church destroying the evidence of the only body, Ike Chambers' skull showing remnants of the horns he'd grown. The preacher gets his though, when he's burnt in his car, HB agreeing with the 1st witness of it being the hand of God. Barf.
I Had Bigfoot's Baby! HB reads a story written by a photographer regarding a female photographer getting taken by BF. He tells Abe and waits to share with Liz, who says to call them if HB required back up. HB goes to Chicago to get the back up of a newspaper, he traveling with the photographer and another journalist. They're rudely turned away by the ranger, so they take a back road to nearby where the journalist had been snatched.
They all begin walking for some time, til HB hears Walker get stopped in the front, so he goes to see what's happening. BF had clocked Walker in the head with a rock, and HB doesn't flinch when BF makes a swipe for him. HB blocks with his hand, and BF books it, HB picking up Walker and having the journalist lead them back out. They get Walker to a hospital and he makes it in time, he having a skull fracture.
HB goes back to the forest as the journalist goes around interviewing farmers. He trips up the ranger, and soon they're both pursuing what could be BF, but in the end loses him in some shadows. When HB returns with the journalist, he sneaks up on the BF-looking dude handling a walkie, and even cursing at HB after he lunges at him. After, the ranger comes out aiming his rifle at HB, admitting to the better business the farmers and he had in drugs. This is when the real BF bashes fake BF into a tree, and HB clocks the rangers with his own gun, the missing journalist coming out with a half BF baby, the other journalist not getting the choice on whether to do the story, since HB smashes the camera. She's able to use the drug bust story, though, and HB with Abe chat of getting pizza back at the BPRD.
The Nuckelavee tells of an old man, McCrimmon looking jumpy and overwhelmed with fear, in Scotland at his house. HB is with him, and asks about another tower next to his property, it also a lasting structure. McCrimmon is also worked up by how it'd taken a few days for the water to dry, and now he is meant to die, the last of his line. HB sees the water hadn't yet quite dried completely, and then McCrimmon desperately bids HB stay for supper to better understand, HB not having much option and accepting. The old man serves cold pork and bread, along with a going-bad haggis.
Upon being offered a smoke, HB is led to the library where he sees telling fam portraits. McCrimmon tells of 1 about his ancestor, William and how when he hadn't returned to his native island of Malleen, the fuathan who control the river didn't appreciate his staying away. MacCrimmon then shares of his bro and his fiance having stayed over 1 summer, and his bro'd died, he offering to take care of her and marry her, HB seeing the sad yearning on the old man's face. The fiance decides to leave, though and MacCrimmon doesn't connect to anyone since.
MacCrimmon then becomes anxious when HB asks how his bro had died, he sharing how in a few mins would be his death anniversary from a sickness which lasted 3 days to kill him, MacCrimmon expecting his bro'd come for him at the hr, as well as the water outside permanently drying. When the time comes, MacCrimmon starts hearing something coming for him, HB hearing nothing, but noting MacCrimmon had killed his bro, which he admits to using poison. HB is about to open the door, when it comes down on him, more pressure keeping him wedged as an accompanying putrefied and worse smell enters the room. Once it steps off him, HB tosses the door and sees a horrifying half man horse with rubberneck, and the worst breath imaginable from a skinless creature.
After it grabs MacCrimmon, it kicks HB and biffs off, the place going up in flames and collapsing in on itself, HB seeing all the MacCrimmon clan join the founder in his painted photo, it coming alive, but HB jumping out a window before getting hit by anything. The other tower has also collapsed with the drying stream, HB tracking the creature past the hill, and through another town, an old drunk man saying he'd seen it go to the ocean, and a lady telling of when her pop had escaped a Nuckelavee, luckily. HB's opinion of MacCrimmon changes to possibly, and rightly being taken home to answer for his behavior.
A Night at the Beach has HB telling of having been to Coney Island twice, once during its prime, and the other, after. He'd come to learn info on a cult, but his source had been killed, so he returns to BPRD where it isn't long before another meeting is made. Abe shares all the related material, and HB thinks Abe would be taking lead due to the water related deaths, but Abe had yet to share why this isn't so. He also shares of Kate helping them out, so HB and Kate are bewildered when they see the new Coney boardwalk, the place a bit off with its prizes.
They reach a secluded part of the boardwalk leading onto the also deserted beach. They see the museum of oddities they're heading for, and someone coming out. When HB tries the door, though it's locked, so he opens it forcibly, they definitely seeing odd exhibits. Kate handles a hand, but drops it, thinking she'd felt it move, and when she'd gone to pick it up, it wasn't there.
HB tells her to stop messing around when the owner comes out with a gun, HB knocking him out, which prevents them from asking him anything more about his drug dealing and what not. They next go to the spot the owner mentions and soon hear a dozen people coming with a girl they've trapped, taking her on to the beach, where weird moaning is heard. HB and Kate go out, and then see from the ocean, gill creatures surfacing. (The editing on this 1 is esp. shit!) They get HB into the water, but Abe saves him, and shares of HB having been bait, Kate making a hilarious joke of HB being catch of the day, Abe getting a good chortle from it.
Burn, Baby, Burn starts with a jailbait girl trying to hitch in '76, somewhere near New Jersey. Liz intros herself when she's picked up and they try to intimidate her, but she knows who is the actual shark on this VW bus. They pull over once she puts the van to flame a little in the back, she laughing when she sees them have to stop again to chuck a fiery blankie. Background of Liz's first arson is mentioned, 32 people dying in total.
Liz goes to a diner where she speaks to her first black girl, Mahogany, the girl offering her some day old donuts, then a place to stay for a few days, Liz declining at first, til she goes back outside and it's raining. Then, how she is recruited to BPRD is gone over, she living in a foster home, and an agent coming to interview her about another smaller fire incident. As Mahogany and she walk to her place after she's finished with work, she tell Liz of how her ma uses her home to help all kinds, and currently they had a couple guests. After meeting Zora, she makes certain Liz isn't in trouble and is welcome to stay.
Liz knew she hadn't broken any laws, but also figured the BPRD was most likely searching for her. Then handful of happy people eat dinner, and the night winds down, Liz sharing a room with Mahogany, she having her memory/dream of her ma coming out their front door horrifically burned. Mahogany shouts at Liz, since her bed was burning, and Liz tries to find something to put it out, but it's too late. The 2 shout and get everyone else out, the home destroyed, and the fam stuck moving to a shelter for now, whilst Liz waits til everyone's gone, and calls BPRD to pick her up, she knowing she is returning to her true home.
Far Flew the Boast of Him has HB in Scotland hearing a man speak of the dead men they were viewing having been there to do a reenactment, and even a part of a club which regularly scheduled outing like this, but nothing so dramatic having occurred before. HB qs why they'd chosen the battle of Lindisfarne, Copplestone admitting they'd been celebrating Odin's reign over Britain by playing monks and getting killed by Norsemen, but the group is interrupted. Body parts are strewn yards apart from each other, dogs unwilling to sniff out the pieces. So, HB follows the smell of death, since the parts had been picked up by now, his plan being to walk to the farthest found part, and spiral outward to see if he found anything.
HB discovers a tree of hanging ghosts, and discovers a pond from directions, and fishes out an umbilical of which had a helmet, and trinkets inside it, attached to the end. HB waits til dawn, and Grendel appears, saying he doesn't know what HB is, but had obv learned from humans, what with the gun pointed at him. Grendel explains what had occurred to the people he'd killed having a most exhilarating reenactment because of him. Grendel has some hella speed and reach, he knocking HB's gun from his hand, and it flying across to a tree, and chipping its bark.
HB returns this by yanking Grendel's arm off, he diving into the water, HB following him to his lair. He sees the massive lady made from skin and bones and bales of hay, HB understanding now why the ghost said he'd heard sobbing in the night, the lonely Grendel, bastard. He'd made his ma, and HB sees him behind the belly flap, Grendel only wishing for mercy, so HB shoots him, and burns the mama model, hoping the smoke surfaces to the sky.
This is an ok collection, they saving the good 1's for the middle. Jigsaw is alright, A Mother at Midnight, Demon Politics is true, Sacred Crows is disappointing, The Nuckelavee is decently horrific, A Night at the Bich is just a bish of editing. I'm hoping for better from the novel, but won't hold my breath, and may need to employ another skim read. Here it comes.
