From the Ashes

By Bob Fingerman

Bob Fingerman intros himself and hopes this record will be seen by aliens from outer space one day. Before the end and destruction of society, he used to be careful to recycle the paper he sued for his art, in w/e form it came: painting, writing, w/e. So, now there is only 1 ream of papers left to work with, he planning to make them count. Bob relates how he and his hubby Michele somehow survive the complete annihilation of all on Sept, 2008.

Bob notes his own indifference of their loss of life, and civilization. The 2 see burnt corpses and are unphased, simply feeling free. They start walking to see if they can find some kind of natural shelter. They end up sleeping outside, but they aren't bothered, and continue their search for supplies in store buildings rubble.

Bob flashes back to the unfulfilling parts of life before the apocalypse, like dealing with computer crashes. Michele is a corporate slave, and attempts to get lunch without answering her cell every 10 secs. By the time they're able to meet up, it's after 9, and she still has to txt work. Back with the duo in real time, Michele chucks her phone, and they hear a resounding owie. The 2 discover cannibalistic survivors, and once they're noticed, Bob years for the days of crashing comps.  

Michele is told by 1 of the cannibals of not being their type, Bob realizing they're foodies, admitting their motto, What would Bourdain do? Before the duo leave, the cannibals snicker over the 2 snacking on grocery junk food. Bob starts feeling insulted, but Michele focuses him on letting go. They continue to wander, and Michele is happy to come close to the act of shopping as she sifts the rubble of their dentists office.

Later, she discovers leather pants, Bob is fearful of their gayness, til Michele reminds him the Mad Max wears 'em, and is only anti-Semite. She reassures how many non-gay badasses wore leather pants before he stops pouting, like a bitch. They run into a tentacle-armed black fella, who warms to Bob's archaic idiocy, intros himself as Byron, and offers the 2 meet the rest of his community of mutants. When Byron intros the rest of the mutant group, it gives Michele the chance to be jokingly jealous of a tatted nerd girl admiring Bob's leather ball-holders, which makes him feel better.

After a few wks, they've settled in their partial farm-like lives. Soon, they meet a 3-headed dog who scares them at first til being explained by an undead fella, of the dog, Caesar getting confused a lot due to his 3 heads. Before leaving, they give an open invite to hang with them should the undead get bored. Before Michele can return to get her shower though, Byron leads them quickly to where a gaggle of protesters have popped up showing they didn't appreciate, "Mutant fags".  

Bob flashes back to his early boyhood lesson to not get mixed in an argument over beliefs and this just before Byron elects he and Michele to be their PR. After Bob is called out as a fag by an old southern fella, another protester steps in to chat with Michele. This guy yells to his brethren of the duo being heathens. Bob is amused by the homophobic sexist nonsense for a few more panels, gets bored, then starts admiring the newly made hut with the background of getting called a fag periodically.

The duo take a break from the tourette protesters to hang with their undead buds. When they get back, more arguing has erupted til men in hazmat suits come to escort the dup and mutants away. The religious protesters are taken to pasture, and the duo lightly wonder who these well-armed non IDs are. They reach midtown after hrs of walking, only to be met by a political issue blimping his way to the ground.  

Bob relates why Rile O'Biley is so repulsive, and pretty much gets them kicked out, preferring the simple life. During the night, they're abducted by the hazmat guys, and made to nekkid bathe in a group. Soon, they're provided with jumpsuits, then told of the 2 being there to continue the human race, they obliging, then realizing they were locked in their cubicle, and couldn't go to the mess for a couple wks for inboarding; Captivity. They meet their buds in line, and soon Bob is having to shut a dude up for almost outing him as sterile-on-purpose. Unfortunately, when Rile comes in, he knows of Bob's non-swimmers, and has him put with his mutant new giant wife. Bob's new goal, keeping his butt-cherry.  

Bob soon learns Cubby isn't going to fuck him, only intros him to the others working the plantation. Bob runs into Byron, which he's relieved by. Meanwhile, Michele is distraught over Bob's unknown fate, she being reassured he wasn't going to be killed. An old lady sets her straight, also confessing Michele is expected to get knocked up, soon.

Back with Bob, he tells of why he'd been kicked out, which gets him worked up about the plans they had for her. It's quittin' time, and they go to their non-bunk non-house bunkhouse, it just a tarp held up by 4 sticks. Michele gets an ez menial job til she gets preggers, and meets an old lady who knew much of the inner workings and background of some of the people... and clones. By day 2, Bob is having a bitch boy tantrum, thinks it's been a tortured wk.

On top of working all the time, they don't even get to eat from the healthy mutant crop, instead getting green squares. Meanwhile, Michele complains too loudly and is escorted back to make a baby, she wondering how to go back to the idyllic farm apocalypse they were enjoying before. Back with Bob, he's about had it with their slaving, then thinks how unreal everything is, maybe the blast being big, but not society-ending big. When Bob wakes, he understands why his face had been burning, laying in hospital.  

When Bob comes to again, he realizes the hospital dream was brought on by sunstroke, deciding a pow wow with buds is needed later. Michele is anxiously game-planning any sort of deterrent for these fools impregnating her, with little success. Bob's ass is becoming beyond unmanageable for pain, and when he drops his drawers, they know it's because he'd been housing a tail. Michele is in mess when everyone is sent back to their quarters when 2 men become violently ill.

Michele makes a run for it when a guy comes in to change her dirty laundry, and she thinks he's going to rape her. Bob and group are developing their escape plan as Michele squirrels herself in an air duct, and overhears Rile talking to his clones of the mutant veggies killing everyone and he being unable to fit in his blimp suit anymore. Michele falls on top of Rile, and then uses his mutantness to allow anyone who wanted to leave, be allowed. Michele meets up with Bob and the group outside, and show off her new tail to boot. So, they build up their farming community, Rile still has blind followers, and are slowly dying off, whilst the mutants lived without aging, but sterile.

For years they've been able to live and lounged in ease and freedom. The end wish makes sense, but the political drama I could've done without. I get the system is fucked, moving on. On the upside, this one is great for the art.